Conjugal rites
From Mr Jeremy Westhead Sir: I doubt whether Ross Clark (Banned wagon, 26 August) has met anybody whose parents have attempted to arrange a mar- riage for their daughter against her wishes.
An acquaintance suffered this fate and, having fled to America, was found within a week and had to flee again, to spend the next three months in hiding. Her parents still do not know where she lives as she is afraid of the consequences of their reaction.
To feel so afraid and endangered that one has to flee one's parents shows how horrendous the prospect can be. In a soci- ety where women are treated as chattels, 'It's been divided into flats.' Mr Clark's attitude may be acceptable. In a society where women have been accepted as equal holders of rights, it is out of place.
Given that even in a 'Western' marriage so-called conjugal rights are no longer auto- matically assumed, and men can be found guilty of rape if found to have forced them- selves on their wives, it is odd to propose that somebody should spend their whole lives with someone who, in my friend's case, she positively hated.
I would also suggest that to say that a lasting marriage is a happy marriage is per- haps flawed. While once upon a time this would have been assumed, it is no longer the case.
Jeremy Westhead London El
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