ADVENTURE ON THE SOUTH SEAS

The second instalment of the unexpurgated 1939 diary of Sir Charles Mappin

21 August Uneventful day.

At sea. Captain very subdued. Sat up till about midnight on deck, Simone singing Tahitian songs whilst we discussed the pros and cons of marriage.

22 August At sea 23 August Thank God this letter is now up to date.

I must try and keep it so, otherwise it is so easy to forget things. Still at sea heading for Rimatara, the first island in the Australe. It should be very interesting as it is very isolated. We shall probably do our first trad- ing when we reach there tomorrow at 10. We are averaging about 120 miles a day, practically no wind, sea very smooth and sun very hot.

Reached Rimatara at about 5. Went ashore after dinner. No pass in the reef, so we had to use the whale- boat like a surf-boat. Very exciting, 12 people in the boat, waiting for the right wave, then rowing like hell and going over the reef into the lagoon. Coming out it is rather worse. Wait- ing for a lull, then going like shit before the next wave catches you.

The hospitality of these people is quite amazing. The missionary, who has the best house on the island, turned out of his house as if it was the most natural thing to do. The house consisted of one room built of coral with three beds. The others try- ing to hide their fucking noises caused me vast amusement. We came aboard for breakfast and I have been in bed ever since.

I have got some infection in my eyes, which are bloody painful and bright red. Unfortunately there is no doctor until Tahiti, another 40 days, so I am using the Chinaman's medicine and hoping for the best. If they get any worse I shall have to get Lew or Bryan to make notes for me and I will write when they recover. These islands, including Tahiti, have one major trouble, they will mix up pillows and sand- bags.

Quite a deal has been made today in copra, in exchange for shirts, chocolates, tinned fruit, etc. There is definitely money in it. It works out at about 140 per cent profit. The reason apparently it isn't done more is because nobody seems to have enough money to build the schooners.

Bryan and Simone came aboard with an Second portrait of a Polynesian beauty, commissioned by Sir Charles Mappin American, by the name of Seabrook. He arrived here eight years ago from New York with his wife, to 'get away from it all'. He had dinner on board and he stayed the night. He woke me up at 3 o'clock in the morning to discuss life, Proust and D.H. Lawrence. He is apparently quite satisfied with his lot but I felt all the time he was talking, thinking and building his theories about his wife, who stuck it for a year and then went back. He gave me the interesting information that all the islands we are going to are riddled with clap and syphilis, especially Mangareva.

His advice about Rapa was not to land at all as there is such a surplus of women over men that they simply tear a white man to pieces. The women apparently do all the work, dig the taro, paddle the canoes, and till the soil and are unbelievably tough and muscular. The men's sole job is to fecund the women in the evening and rest during the day.

24 August The Captain woke me at six still stinking drunk from fermented pineapple juice to inform me that he had engaged the schoolmaster's daughter for me for the night before, but as I hadn't turned up he had had to deal with her as well as his own girlfriend.

The crew are furious because they waited for the Captain until 3 o'clock, as we have only one boat, and then had to start loading copra again at six. I feel mutiny is immi- nent. Bryan's attitude to any argu- ment is always the same: go away and settle it amongst yourselves, my doctor says I mustn't be worried.

My eyes are much better, due, I imagine, to the Chinese medicine. The Captain just asked me if he could give a dress from the stores to the girl he had to fuck for me. I asked him how much it would cost, and when he said the Chinaman would let him have a very nice red and white one for 7 francs (trade price), I OK'd it with my mind dwelling on writs from Rahvis. I must say fucking by proxy in the South Seas is a new one on me.

We have now come round to the other side of the island to pick up more copra. There is great excitement because another vessel can be seen on the horizon and there is much argument as to whether it is a French cruiser or another schooner. For two ships to be off Rimatara at the same time is unheard of. A quiet evening and hope to get away tomorrow.

25 August The other ship turned out to be the Potii Raiatea after the copra. We had beaten them to it by a few hours, and we hope to be a day ahead of them at the other islands.

26 August Slept on deck again last night, but unfortu- nately ran into heavy weather and rain, and the decks are awash most of the time. Lew slept on top and said we looked very funny fast asleep with the sea washing over us.

In my wakeful moments I thought it would be a money-making proposition and a benefit to mankind to start a school for girls in England with Polynesian teachers, because all important things in life they seem to do so much more efficiently than Europeans. For instance, Simone and Vie- tome could be in charge of Polynesian poking. Chou Chou, cheating at games of skill and chance; Anna, serious drinking and how to hold it; Teura, poking in the puss, and any number of Grade A teachers for petty pilfering and lying without change of countenance. So much better for the men of sting than having to waste potatoes at the Ritz, Robert Green, Cartier, the Empire, 400 etc., and then only getting half-an-hour's dry as a bone with the knee in the way. Think it over!

We had a very intense argument last night at dinner re Seabrook, as to whether it was right for a European wife to expect the said wife to give up all friends, inter- ests, connections etc., in England, and set- tle for the rest of her life on an island like Rimatara, where there are no Europeans, two mails a year, and nobody speaks any- thing except the local dialect. I said it was grossly unfair and quite ridiculous, but Lew and Bryan have the same ideas about mar- riage. The wife marries for better or for worse, she breeds my children, looks after my house, and lives where she is fucking well told. When I suggested a little give and take was conducive to matrimonial bliss, I was greeted with snorts of 'give — don't be a. bloody fool. Take everything and don't give an inch.' I think one should many Veronica, and the other Eve. Bryan changed his ideas a bit when I suggested he Put himself in the woman's position and give up his estate in Ireland, his hunting, racing, polo, shooting, fishing and all his friends for a happy and gay life on Rimatara.

We have been at sea all day and hope to get to Tupuai this evening to pick up water. A marvellous day with quite a good breeze, doing about 5 knots. Both the girls have got the curse, so Bryan has told the Cap- tain to cut out two islands and push on to Rapa so that we are there before they are well again. Racing the curse to Rapa! Great fun. 27August Lay off Tupuai until dawn. From a distance it looks like two islands, but is actually two mountains divided by a plain. We met an American, by the name of Klein, who has been there for four and a half years. It was the first time for over a year he had been able to speak English to anyone and he cer- tainly took full advantage of it. He has a house, a native girlfriend, and a year-old child. It costs him 10 dollars a month including everything, and he told us if you like to cut out luxuries like canned meat and chickens you could live very comfort- ably for 100 francs a month. You could hardly call it expensive living; chickens 5 francs, eggs 3F.50 a dozen, and fish on your doorstep. But God, the boredom of it. I suppose if one could face it for a year the surplus at the end would be interesting. He showed us where Christian of Bounty fame landed on his way from Tahiti to Pit- cairn.

We have now about 3 days at sea before Rapa. My eye is bad again according to the Captain because I slept on deck under a very strong moon. Tonight I shall sleep below. Bryan can't make up his mind whether to go to Indo-China, leaving on the Eridan, or wait until January. If he waits until January, we shall probably take a launch to Bora Bora and fish for a month, which will suit me very well. Today is a day of mourning because the ice is fin- ished, and there is no chance of getting any more until we get home.

28 August Raining all day and a heavy swell. We spent the whole day below, occupying our- selves by fighting for three bunks. Hope to reach Rapa the day after tomorrow morn- ing. Rain ceased, but the wind has altered, and is now dead ahead. We were discussing bad manners the other night at dinner and think you will agree that Bryan's experi- ence takes first prize. He was dining with some people who live here called Boucart. He is Swiss and she is Tahitian. Bryan was sitting next to her, and as his French was better than her English, he was talking French to her. The husband at the other end of the table was in the middle of a con- versation in English with the rest of his 'Hi, I'm your personal dresser.' guests. He suddenly stopped, turned to Bryan and said, 'When I wish my wife to enter into the conversation we will talk her language. Until then we will speak English.' It is very nearly up to Leicester- shire form.

Much discussion re sexual intercourse at Rapa. Bryan's theory is `never let it be said of me that I have passed through Rapa without a fuck'. My theory is 'avoid syphilis unless she is very attractive'. Three years to cure is too long. Knowing my luck, what will probably happen is they will fuck them- selves into a stupor and I shall get a rasper off a lavatory seat.

To be continued . .