30 AUGUST 2003, Page 55

Q. I regularly enjoy Sunday lunch at a premier hotel

here in Bangkok. The food is exceptional and the Thai service staff friendly and professional. Staff recognise and greet me on arrival with a warm, formal 'Good morning, Mr Smith'. A couple of Sundays ago, chatting with an attractive waitress by way of a little innocent flirtation, I suggested she call me 'Michael'. Since then I am greeted with 'Hello, Michael' on arrival by all and sundry at the hotel. Clearly she thought this was my preferred form of address and advised her boss accordingly. Being Thai, they were not aware of the subtlety. Mary, how can I solve this problem without embarrassing her or appearing to the staff to be a snob?

M.S., Ithlongsan, Bangkok A. I fear that you have committed an unforgivable faux pas, in Asian terms, by suxesting to a junior and female employee that

she should use an intimate ,form of address. You have lost face not only with her, but also with the entire staff of the hotel. To be frank, the situation is irredeemable, and my only, advice can be that you find yourself another congenial hotel and this time avoid making such a grave social error.