"Spectator" Competitions

RULES AND CONDITIONS

Entries must be typed or very clearly written on one -side of the paper only. The name and address, or pseudonym, of the competitor must be on each entry and not on a separate sheet. When a word limit is sot words must be counted and the number given. No entries can be returned. Prizes may be divided at the discretion of the judge, or withheld if no entry reaches the required standard.. The judge reserves the right to print or quote from any entry. The judge's decision is final, and no correspondence can be entered into on the subject of the award. Entries must be addressed to :—The Editor, the Spectator, 99 Gower Street,

London, W.C. 1, and be marked on the envelope Competition No. (---).

p 42 (SET BY " DCGLI.")

essays : (l) on seeing the French Art Exhibition ; (2) on When that Orpheus bird gets busy, you gotta hop or die." not seeing the French Art Exhibition. No essay may exceed 150 words.

Entries_ must be received not later than Monday, February 1st, 1932. The result of this competition will appear in our issue of February 13th, 1932.

Competition No. 43 (SET BY " CARD.") A PRIZE of £2 2s. is offered for the best list of five social customs or -institutions which in the- opinion of -com- petitors should be discontinued. Reasons need not be given.

Entries must be received not later than Monday, February 8th, 1932. The result of this competition will appear in our issue of February 20th, 1932.

The result of Competition No. 41 will appear in our next issue.

Limerick Competition No. 13

A PRIZE of 11 ls. is offered each week for a new and original English Limerick verse on some subject dealt with in the current number of the Spectator. The thirteenth of these competitions closes on Monday, February 8th, 1982. Entries should be marked on the envelope ".Limerick No. 13."

The result of the eleventh of these competitions will be announced in our next issue.

[It is requested that to facilitate the work of the judges, entries should, when possible, be submitted on postcards.]

Report of Competition No. 4o

(REPORT AND AWARD BY .` CARD.")

A rams of £2 2s. was offered for the best rendering of a Shakespearean lyric in the form and idiom of the modem dance song. Too nanny competitors forgot that in a satisfactory parody to retain the spirit of the original is more important than to indulge in humorous inconsequence, however intrinsically witty. The winner, indeed, was the only one who managed. to combine humour and reasonable accuracy. The entries of L Macnaghten, Miss V. Joscelyn, E. B. C. Thornett, M. E. Henhouse, " Ophelia," " timbered Wolf," and " Sosial " are commended ; and the prize goes to Mr. Attila A. Vandal, Carriekmore, „Co. Tyrone, Ireland.

THE WINNING ENTRY.

[Krim HENRY VIII, Act -3; Scene 1.

Orpheus with his lute made trees And the mountain tope that freeze Bow themselves. . . . ]

Say, Orpheus is the guy for your party.

If he totes his saxophone Even old Aimt Tabby fools real hearty When that weapon gives a moan or a groan.

First ho goes gii‘uMPIt

(Pump, Pump).

And the hills lose their hump (Kerblump), And the trees and the seas and the mites in the chores

Alt go gooney at the knees

And they lose their blues, and they cry, " That's grand,

Old Orp.'s the only worth-while nigger in the whole dam band."

If the sky is looking grey and sooty, Just dial, " Orpheus 809," Make a date with your cutie. The blues-will fly before the sweet sunshine.

Ain't it fine ?

When he gives a growl (H000-R000), The winds all howl (Boo-Hoo), And the Kings and Queens and Knaves, • - •

Result of Limerick Competition No. 10 THE most popular subjects this week were Brenting, Drink and the Nation, The Heavens Declare, and The Issue'-in India.

The prize is awarded to K. M. Peace, 1 Wollaston Road Cambridge ; and " Banns," G. A. Hicks, W. A. Rathkey, II. C. M., C. J. Galpin, W. Hodgson Burnet, and Helen K. Mundy are commended.

THE WINNING ENTRY.

P. Coteateas (page 44).

When the voice of the pheasant is heard In your home, to revolt is absurd ;

'Tis mere folly to dare.

To deny him your. Chair . . When the Bench is supporting the bird ! K. M. Piens

THE HEAVENS DECLARE (page 34).

There once Was a sign in the sky,

A portent that something drew. nigh : • A text out of Genesis I read again "Guinness's "— And passed on relieved with a sigh.

Banwriam (page 35).

If I footslog, I " mike " or I " hike." If I pushwheel, then clearly I " bike." If I yodel, I " brent," Well, I don't care a cent.

I'll brent and I'll hike—i.e., " brike." C. J. Gar.rrs.

THE HEAVENS DECLARE (page 34).

If the buyer of space will apply To the Owner of space up on high, He will read of damnation, Perverse generation, That looks for a sign in the sky I G. A. HICKS.

PROHIBITION Wrenn is Fitrtann (page 34). Said one Finn to another, " We think What harm can there be in a drink ; So long as we fufsh Before we dimirfsh The fiery of (inland in clink I" W. A. RATHKEY.

THE ISSUE mr INDIA (page 37).

Sir,—Vide licentious repressions,

Please do not debauch with aggressions ; " We Babus a Nation " Is best peroration To noble Lord Irwin's concessions.

HURREE CHUNDER Atoomearms.

MR. LLOYD GEORGE'S RETURN (page 45).

[" Where his seat in the House will be is not clear,"—Ausrmr.1 Just exactly where L.-G. will sit Doesn't interest me, Sir, a bit.

I am waiting to see Who will sit on L.-G.

For I hear he's remarkably fit.

Highly Commended:

BANNA.

W. HODGSON BuiutEx.