Music to Forget

The BBC recently broadcast the hundredth programme of Music to Remember. A prize of six guineas was offered for a list of six items for a programme of Music to Forget (vocal, instrumental or orcht;stral, serious or light).

O THOSE Pale Hands, those Temple Bells for ever tinkling in Monastery Gardens and those tattered Greensleeves. . . . I had expected competitors to choose single items of actual compositions, but many decided on generic items and some invented purely fictitious titles which were ingenious and amusing but not strictly what was called for. Many of these were inspired by the recent Hoffnung Concert and would be hilarious to listen to. In theory the entries comprising 'straight' items might well have included the same titles, but in practice it seemed preferable to spread the prizes over a less eclectic selection. A number of excel- lent entries cannot be printed here as they demanded their execution-a very apt word -by still-living musicians or soloists.

I suggest two guineas to Alberick and one guinea to A. W. Dicker for the most repre- sentative selection of real items, and a guinea each to A. E. Gent and Lieut.-Cdr. R. A. Dudley, RN, as the next best in this section. In the generic class Rhoda Tuck Pook deserves half a guinea and Benjy earns a like amount for a programme which even the BBC would flinch from broadcasting and of which Dr. Johnson would certainly have remarked, 'Difficult do you call it, Sir?

I wish it were impossible!' Finally, I regret that not even the magnificent calligraphy of I. B. Allan and A. D. Bennett Jones could earn them a prize.

(ALBERICK) MUSIC TO FORGET (if only the BBC would let us) 1. Handel's Largo (Organ transcription). Day.'

3. The Londonderry Air (any version). ally funny), e.g. '1812.'

(Orchestra). d'Amour.' 5. The 'Toreador Song' from Carmen.

6. Elgar's 'Pomp and Circumstance March' ending with 'Land of Hope and Glory,' by full choir and orchestra.

N.B.-Nothing has been included that need not be forgotten because it is impossible to remember it.

(A. W. DICKER) 1. Minuet in G (Beethoven).

2. Serenade (Schubert).

3. Spring Song (Mendelssohn).

4. Largo (Handel).

5. Blue Danube (Strauss).

6. Ave Maria (Gounod).

All written on 'off-days' and calculated to give a false impression of the composer's merits. Probably popular for that reason!

(A. E. GENT) Dance of the Sugar-plum Fairy (Tchaikovsky).

The Lost Chord (Sullivan).

Rhapsody in Blue (Gershwin).

0 sole mio (di Capua).

The Flight of the Bumble-Bee (Rimsky- Korsakov).

Valse triste (Sibelius).

(LIEUT.-CDR. R. A. DUDLEY) 1. In a Monastery Garden.

2. The Londonderry Air.

3. The Indian Love Lyrics (any one or all four!).

4. The Holy City.

5. The Lost Chord.

6. Abide With Me-except when it is a valid part of a Church Service. (RHODA TUCK POOK)

PRIZES 1. All ballet music outside its stage context, e.g.

`Coppelia.'

2. All sentimento-religiosities, e.g. 'The Holy City.'

3. All lugubrious dance-tunes, e.g. 'Night and 2. Song Sequence, Indian Love Lyrics.' 4. All descriptive pieces (unless unintention- 4. Barcarolle from 'The Tales of Hoffman' 5. All trivia of great men, e.g. Elgar's 'Salut

6. All nostalgic vocal gloatings, e.g. 'None but the Weary Heart.'

(BENJY) 1. Auntie Bertha singing Mendles'n'S 'Oh for the Wings' like she did at the Vicar's. 2. My sister playing 'Leebestrawm' on her violin.

3. Uncle Edwin singing 'The Song of the Flea (with encore). 4. Mr. McTavish playing 'The Lament for Flodden' on the bagpipes like he did at wee Jeanie's birthday party. 5. Mr. Ram Prakash Nair rendering his 144 classical variations on a theme frcal `Gitanjali' (with Veena accompaniment). 6. Me playing 'The Moonlight' all through On' Auntie's upright.

COMMENDED 'Barwick Green' (the 'Archers' signature tune). Any tune sung in 'harmony' by three or more

'sisters.' (s. E. Wows.)

Ultimatum : 'Arise, Britannia.' Inspired by tt recent Great and Glorious Action, for soi° Lion, supported by Trumpet Involuntary (regimented band of the Westminster Blues) and disconcerted accompaniment of stricken

horra-tones. (WILLIAM ANTHONY') Symphanie sans Clef (L'infiniment prolongeo) pour plein orchestre avec chceur de harpies' (In one continuous unbelievably long move; ment.) (.1. A. UNDO') Trumpet Voluntary by Jeremiah Clarke. , (T. 0. W.) 'Music While You Work' and the BBC Tele' vision newsreel introductory tune. (BARBARA SMOKER.)

Any six items from the Gilbert and Sullivan,

operas. C. EvANS4 'Sonny Boy' (for its drooling idiocy).

'Nelly Dean' (for its dragging drunkenness). ,

(HERBERT B. GRIMSDITC8.1 The National Anthem (cinema and theatre

versions). ,