YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED
Dear Mary. . .
Q. Can you please recommend a suitable Christmas present to be given to a very become person? My husband's father has uecome almost pathological about saving money (despite having plenty of it). We are sPending Christmas with him again this Year and, as usual, it will be freezing cold, there will not be enough to eat or drink and there will not even be a television (he is too Mean to buy a licence). We still give each Other Christmas presents. Last year, how- ever, I was rankled to realise that he saw even this as a means of saving money. To clarifY: my husband, his brothers and I gave MY father-in-law presents of cases of wine, Jumpers, books etc. Meanwhile, each of us received in return a copy of one of those glossy books about Krishna given out in Oxford Street by Hari Krishna converts who ask you to pay 'what you can afford' thithem. I would like to get my own back
s year. What do you suggest? A.F. St Peter's Square, Chiswick Buy him some television licence stamps. These are sold in £1 units and you should buy a frustrating amount such as £35 worth. As £35 is too much for a black and white
licence (£25.50) and too little for a colour licence (£77), your father-in-law will be doubly tormented. The stamps cannot be redeemed for cash and, no doubt, he will be too mean to make up the £42 difference.
Q. 1 am a godson of a member of the Royal Family. I recently paid a visit to my family home and found to my dismay that my mother, who is a terrific snob, had unearthed a photograph of me with my godmother, and has displayed it on our piano in a prominent position. I was 17 at the time the photograph was taken. It is a full-length photograph. Like many boys, I was in a certain state of perpetual excite- ment when aged 17. It was no different on the day I was photographed and this is unfortunately all too obvious. How can I get rid of this embarrassing photograph? I cannot bring the subject up with my moth- er, who is very naïve.
Name and address withheld A. Why not pose, in similar trousers, for another photograph? This should be taken by a co-operative friend. Having ensured that the perspective is correct, you may ask your photographic processor to enlarge the print to the correct sizing. Keeping a steady hand, you should cut out the new pelvi§ and trouser area and glue this neatly down on top of the original offending one. Using a camera suitable for close-up work, you can then re-photograph the whole, thus provid- ing a negative which can be touched up in a darkroom so that none of the joins will be evident. The original can then be destroyed and the new acceptable photograph returned to its frame.
Mary Killen
If you have a problem, write to 'Dear Mary, The Spectator, 56 Doughty Street, London, WC1N 2LL.
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