THE COW-DEALER AND THE QUAKER : A STUDY IN LEICESTERSHIRE
DIALECT,
[To THE EDITOR or THE "SPECTATOR."]
Sin,—The new cow had come that morning, and the dealer whom I always employed to buy cows for me had called " joost ter see 'ow the caeow hikes r th' fah" That meant whiskey and gossip. I mixed him a glass ; and, holding it up with one hand, and touching his forehead with the other, he
" 'Ere's to th' new caeow, for all she's a whoite un. Soom folks says as 'ow th' whoite tins is nesh; boot, ah tell yer, Mester, and as lave boy a whoite un as a black un. "ier can see a whoite un th' daerk. Ah oonce 'ecrd tell on a leem man as fell ower a black caeow as were a layin' acrorst the caei t- road ; an' 6 'pologoised to 'er. Ah beg yer parding,' 6 says; joost a thatn, ah beg yer parding.' Now there's Mester Fox, th' Queeker : ahn bought many a caeow for 'im, an' 'a niver meks no count o' th' coolour. 'E says as 'ow it's on'y superstition, an' e's 'ad ter cosset soom as hadna a whoite 'eer on 'em.
! boot 'e's a room coostomer, 'é is. When alt were a yoong youth, ah'd a sister as lived sarvice as were a dale older nor me." Here the dealer hesitated for a moment, and said to me : " Boot, Mester, happen yer knows Mester Fox ; an' ahm a deevin' yer
my teels an' jawbation ?" I assured him that I was much interested, and begged him to tell me about his sister and Mr. Fox. " Well, then, ah'll tell yer," said the cow- dealer, " an' per can see fur yersen 'ow 'é sarved me, an' ow ah sarved 'im. 'There a thisn. Ah went woon dee t' see in' sister ; an' Mester Fox were agin th' geete ; an' 6 took me along th' Cooch-road,to th' froont-door, an' int' a gre't big parlour; an' e says, Friend, theen coom a long wee,' é' says ;
an' happen thee'd loike a bit o' bread an' cheese.' Well, ah tell yer, Mester, as ah didna loike t'andle a knoife an' fork afore a genTrnan; ah was boot a yoong youth; an' ah says,
Thank yer koindly, Mester Fox ; boot ah'd rayther not,' ah says. So 'é went awee to tell m'sister as ah were a weeting ter see 'er. Then the cuke coome in, an' shh axed me t'ave soom bread an' cheese. Well, ah wasna afeerd o' th' cuke, an' alt says, Thank yer koindly, Miss.' So she went an' got this 'ere bread an' cheese, an' a soop o' soommut-as-is-good to wash it down wi'.
" Then in coome Mester Fox, an"6 says, 'Friend, thee saidst thee'd have no bread an' cheese. Thee'll not tell a lie i' my house '; an' 6 walked off wi' th' bread an' cheese, an' th' eel an' all ; by Lady, 'é did. Ahh !
" Eli! boot ah downed 'im ; leastways a man as is a friend o' moine downed 'im fur me. When ah were a goin' wum, ah met Joe Bonnett as rents a tek oonder Mester Fox ; an' alt tould 'im about this 'ere bread an' cheese ; an' e says, .Ah'll Fox 'im, as sure as ma neem's Joe Bonnett.' Well ! th' next toime as ah seen this 'ere Bonnett, '6 says, ' Ah gien old Mester Fox what for. Ah went to pee in' rent ; an' e says, 'Friend, would thee like a bit o' perk pie ? Wen killed a pig, an' wen meed soom noice perk pies. Would thee like to teeste one ? ' So Bonnett 'é says, Thank ye koindly, Mester Fox. So '6 sends in a new perk pie as 'ad niver been coot, an' goes to wroite the recete fur th' rent. When '6 coom back 'é says,
Friend, thee hasn't eaten anythink."No, Mester,' says Joe Bonnett. dunna know weere t' coot it.' So Mester Fox, 'é says, Coot it weere thee likest, friend.' So Bonnett 'é says, Well, thank ye, Sir, ah'll coot it at wum.' So the old Queeker '6* says, Friend, thee'll not tell a lie i' my house." An' e took an' lapped oop the perk pie i' peeper, an' meed Bonnett tek it wam.
" Well, Mester, ahn finished the whiskey, an' thank yer koindly. Well goo an' see 'ow the caeow lukes th' feld."—
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