COMPETITION
Sine cura
Jaspistos
In Competition No. 1384 you were asked for an obituary notice of an imaginary public figure who led an enviably and outrageously work-free and trouble-free life.
'Sine cura' suggests sinecure, and so I was hoping for descriptions of good low- responsibility, high-income, no-risk jobs of the past or the future. My own private dream was to have been appointed British Vice-Consul in Samos in the early years of the century. The post was abolished in 1921, but the charming house attached to it still stands. Another enviable task was that of the able-bodied young servant in Boo- dle's who, I am told, was discovered during the war to be chiefly employed in washing the small change of members. Few of you were inventive that way, though Pascoe Polglaze was an exception with his post of Commons Remembrancer 'whose duty is to register the names of Members who belatedly acknowledge that their activities in Parliament breach their electoral under- takings'. Obituarists traditionally keep straight faces: too many of yours were positively grinning. Good efforts came from Jean Hayes, D. B. Jenkinson, V. Ernest Cox, Noel Petty, George Moor and
Paul Griffin. The four winners printed below get £12 each, and Robert Griffiths, who naughtily exceeded the maximum wordage, is damned lucky to be among them. The bonus bottle of Veuve Clicquot Gold Label 1979 Vintage Champagne (the gift of NERA) is awarded to Rob Hull.
When the Earl of Fulham succeeded to the title he was already well-known for his unrivalled collection of pre-1930 railway platform tickets. The Earl wisely delegated the management of the extensive family estate to his younger brother so that he might not be distracted from his consuming hobby. His maiden speech will long be remembered by platform ticket enthu- siasts for its thesis on the relation between ticket colours and lengths of platforms.
For those who lived in the village of Upper Lamming and did not share his interest in tickets, Lord Fulham will best be remembered for his attendance at the parish church of St Margaret's during the clergy strike of 1986, He was always there to give a lead to the singing from the family pew. His death leaves a gap in the expertise of the Upper House that will be hard to fill. (Rob Hull)
News reaches us from India of the death, aged 75, of Horace Plotinus Burnham Lokayatikas• Born in England as Horace Gower-Burnham, Lokayatikas was the sole child of Lord Norman Gower-Burnham and Emilie Baudelaire, the contralto. After an idyllic childhood passed 111 the capitals of Europe and the Near East, he went from Eton to Balliol, ostensibly to read law, where he was notable for his dress and for his trumpet-playing. A gifted and facile comPos" er, in 1931 he penned the song 'Rendezvous in a Summer Solstice' which sold 500,000 copies. A year later, he declined an offer to run as Conservative MP for Brighton and Hove, citing (on a postcard to the agent) Virgil's dictum 'Deus nobis haec otia fecit'. The remainder of his life was passed travelling, largely incognito, on the Indian sub-continent. Between 1936 and 1969 he effectively disappeared from record. He surfaced in 1970 as a follower of Brahmadisvatta Swami Korish with a remarkable LP entitled `Samsara and Gaslight' in which traditional Indian music and themes of the American shows are blended with great skill.
(Robert Griffiths)
Sir Franklyn Chipchase, Lord Laphroaig, came to prominence during the war, directing the Forces Revictualling Centre at the requisitioned Banff Distillery, and was decorated for his outstanding contribution to Allied morale. This led to his appointment as Supremo of the Post-war reconstruction of the Bavarian Brew- ing Industry in Germany, As MP for Skye, `Chaser' Chipcase lived at Bowmore, Islay, rising to become PPS at the Ministry of Supply. A Knighthood and directorship of Guinness followed upon his retirement from the Com- mons. Nominated as Chief Consultant to the Michelin Guides (English edition), Sir Franklyn was subsequently awarded the Ldgion d'Hon- neur by the French Government. Created a Life Peer, he advised the Foreign Office on their Policy for Embassy hospitality, work which involved a busy schedule of travelling. He died Peacefully at the Villa Woodforde in the Haut- Medoc, spending his last years supervising a small vineyard with characteristic élan. He was unmarried.
(Ron Jowker)
There must in every age be men with the wisdom, the patience, the eagle-eyed foresight Which can come only from a resolute refusal to descend into the thick of battle. Of such men the late Lord Donil was the exemplar. Believing in the sovereign virtue of calm contemplation, he was an avowed enemy of bustle, a hater of the hurried decision, an exerciser above all of the arts of delegation. His exquisite sense of timing, of the importance of being in the right place at the right moment, never betrayed him and was hi no small measure responsible for the un- doubted reputation he enjoyed in a small but influential circle. Generous with his time, he was always ready to proffer advice on the great topics of the day, yet, when his counsels were adopted, his voice, modestly demurring to claim responsibility, was never slow to be heard.
(Oliver Knox)
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