POLITICAL COMMENTARY

Predictions for the Year 1966

By ALAN WATKINS

(With acknowledgments to the late Isaac Bickerstall)

ANUARY. In this Month Mr. lain Macleod is J praised for his Moderation by my Lord Salis- bury; 'I have,' saith my Lord, 'misjudged the Fellow'; whereupon there follow great Rumours and Speculations concerning the Leadership of the Tory Party, etc., etc. Mr. Edward Heath declares that there are many Points of Detail upon which he wishes to be further informed. Mr. H. Wilson, upon being interviewed by the Scribblers of the Sunday Prints, draws a Com- parison between Himself and the late Martin Luther. In this Month also Mr. Geo. Brown falls down of an apoplectick fitt.

FEBRUARY. Mr. Jo Grimond, being taxed by Mr. Mark Arnold-Forster of the Guardian, declareth his Disappointment in the Measures of the present Administration, saying, 'Clearly, They do not have very much longer to last.' In this Month also the public Prints demand Places for Mr. Roy Hattersley, Mr. Brian Walden, and Mrs. Shirley Williams, whose great Abilities have been the Wonder of all who beheld Them. Master Humphry Berkeley, being encouraged be- yond Measure by his Placing as one of the best Speakers in the present Parliament, declares his Project for the utter Abolition of the Tory Party, saying, 'I doubt very much whether the Idea of a Conservative Party fitts in with what People want Today.' Quoth Mr. Edward du Cann, 'There may, for All I know, be Something in what He says.'

MARCH. Mr. H. Wilson, upon being questioned by Mr. R. Day, compares himself to Napoleon, saying, 'I hope, however, not to kick the Ball through my own square Leg when the other Chap's out of the Ring.' There is Talk of a great spye Tryal; without more Ado, Mr. Donald McLachlan of the Sunday Telegraph puts Pen to Paper and tells of his wonderful Experiences at the Time of the late Wars; to the vast Edifica- tion of the Populace.

APRIL. Mr. Anthony Wedgwood Benn de- clares that he will shortly be making an Announce- ment upon a most serious Subject. The Ministry are very suspicious that the Queen hath still a Reserve of Favor for Sir Alec Douglas-Home. Taxes. There is a Report that Mr. R. Crossman other great Abuses besides. Course of which he observes, 'We are, after All, which we shall give a generall Support.' 'Tis pre- bath the most momentous Plans in Hand for the Interview to Mr. Mark Arnold-Forster, in the Radicals, and this is a Radical' Government, to Mr. Jas. Callaghan proposeth to increase the Reform of Rating, local Government, and many

MAY. Mr. Jo Grimond grants an exclusive Po

dicted that Mr. Roy Hattersley, Mr. Brian Wal- M den and Mrs. Shirley Williams will shortly join the Administration. Mr. Wilson instructs his Ministers in the Doctrines of passive Obedience, M Non-resistance and Hereditary Right; all being Sa necessary for preserving the present Establish- ru ment in Church and State, and for continuing the dc Succession in the House of Hannover. ru JUNE. Mr. H. Wilson announceth a most in- st4 genious Project for the Prolongation of the G Parliament; 'tis a Repeal of the Parliament G Act, the Septennial Act, etc., etc., in con- sequence of which Mr. Wilson and his Ministers th would stay in Office in Perpetuity. 'Tis rumoured SO that this Measure hath the Support of the l, Queen. Saith my Lord Chancellor Gardine44, - sh 'This Bill is fully consistent with, indeed I think it enhances, the Idea of the Rule of Law.' Mr. m Attorney Elwyn Jones declareth that any Person fo who opposeth the Bill is guilty of High Treason ar or other most horrible High Crimes and Mis- demeanours. Mr. E. Heath declareth that, while there are many Points of. Detail upon which he would wish to be further informed, yet He will not imperil national Unity in this grave Hour of Danger by opposing the Measure.

JULY. In this Month Mr. G. Brown, being restored to full Health and Vigor, makes clear his Intention of utterly extirpating the Trade Unions. 'This,' saith he merrily, 'is the only Thing that Jim and I agree on.' My Lord Chancellor Gardiner declares that such a Move will advance the Notion of the Rule of Law. Mr. G. Wood- cock avers that, but given Time, the Unions can do the Job themselves. Mr. Wedgwood Benn makes his Announcement; which concerns a Scheme to exile Mr. Reg. Paget to the uttermost and most desolate Pirate Radio Station; to thei) manifest Relief of Mr. H. Wilson, Mr. Brown, etc., etc.

AUGUST. Mr. Wilson compares Himself to Charlemagne, declaring that this Isle's Future lyes in Europe. Mr. Foot, Mr. Mendelson, and Mr. Mikardo, also Mr. Hefter and Mrs. Kerr, take counsell and declare they must contemplate their Position; eventually deciding that, while they have their Doubts, they will not oppose the Scheme.

SEPTEMBER. Mr. F. Heath saith that there are some Disputes between the two contending Partyes now among us, which in Reason ought no longer to subsist, because Time and Events have put an End to the Causes of them. For instance, whether we should join with the Common Market; whether the Trade Unions should be extirpated. Mr. Grimond, in an Interview with Mr. M. Arnold-Forster, gives his Opinion that the present Administration is a bad One, not deserving of the Support of true Radicals. The Sunday Times demands a speedy Promotion for

Mr. Roy Hattersley, Mr. Brian Walden, and Mrs. Shirley Williams.

OCTOBER. Mr. R. Paget delivers a seditious and inflammatory Broadcast from a Pirate Radio Station; whereupon my Lord Chancellor Gardiner declares that such Conduct is treason- able. Mr. H. Wilson leads the Singing of God Save the Queen upon the final Day of the Labour Party Conference. At the Tory Conference Mr. Heath declares there are many Details of the Ministry's Policy upon which he is not fully apprised. Dr. Nkrumah and other Persons from Africa, the Indies, etc., etc., quit the Common Wealth, upon which my Lord Treasurer Wilson says he will not stand idly by; instead increasing Aide and other Favours and declaring that the Blackamoors will in due Course returne. —Twas but an Aberration on their Part,' saith He.

Novemami. Mr. Wilson declares that, like Moses, his Mission is to lead his People out of the Wildernesse; upon This being said, divers Pamphleteers and Scribblers in the Pay of the Ministry join together in praising his Wit, Sagacity, and sublime Genius for Politicks. 'Tis rumoured that Mr. I. Macleod hath grown very domestick with my Lord Salisbury'. 'Tis rumoured also that Sir A. Douglas-Home is re- stored to the Favour of the Tory Party. Mr. Grimond, upon being interviewed in the Guardian, praises the Ministry.

DECEMBER. Mr. Humphry Berkeley proposes the Abolition of Mr. Edward du Cann. Mr. Wil- son draws a Comparison between Himself and ()Jiver Cromwell. There is unseasonable Sun- shine. There is also a Report that Mr. R. Cross- man hath the most momentous Plans in Hand for the Reform of Rating, local Government, and many other great Abuses besides.