MR. SHAW'S BIRTHDAY
RHADAMANTHUS :—This matter grows urgent, 0 Minos. We must find some means to persuade our Olympian father to add at the least a hundred years to the life of this mortal. For if those speak truly who come amongst us from the upper air, he is troublesome in argument beyond all belief, a very plague of a sophist, many-worded, sharp in wit, and one who will not be shamed by any pomp or authority. And it would be unseemly for us if by chance when he came here he should dispute our judgments, proving that we have grown old and stupid, and convincing us, perhaps, against our better minds. The report goes round among the dead that there was never such a man for tricks of ridicule, for impudence towards laws and customs, and for readiness of speech ; and already it is whispered that it will rather be he who judges us than we who judge him. I should wish to keep the day of our meeting as far distant as can be. In truth, if Zeus were to break his own decrees, I should be happy if this man remained on earth through all eternity.
MINos :—And yet there is hope that he will be less provoking than you imagine, brother. For all men whom we have examined of late swear that he has become milder in his ways, more open to conviction and of a deeper respect for the opinions of others. Indeed, there have been violent men to assert that he is a renegade, and that the conventions of earthly life have at last laid their hands upon him. At which they grew so wild and abusive, and threatened so much harm, both to themselves and to all of us, that we had no course open but to plunge them back into Lethe and quench their fiery spirits for ever. But there are others who say that he was never so bad as they had believed : for, they remark, we took his own account of himself for granted, and thought him a demon ; but we observe now that there was much kindliness and humanity in him to which he would not confess, since he was frightened Iest people should regard him as a saint or a moral character ; which he thought intolerable. I hear also that what he has most recently written or spoken is more palatable, more natural, and more gracious than anything he wrote or spoke in other days ; and I even conceive that if he is given long enough time he may show himself in the end to be of lamb-like and innocent quality, a supporter of all due discipline and order.
RHADAMANTHUS may be so, and I pray that your hopes shall turn out justified. I confess that the rumour of his bark made me fear for Cerberus ; for never has that dog of ours been frightened yet, no, not when Hercules himself set about him and ill-treated him so. For then, though he was beaten and disgraced, his heart was indomitable ; and, as soon as Hercules had left us, the dog recovered and flung himself upon a company of heroes a thousand strong, scattering them in all directions, so that their greaves rattled with their haste and with the trembling of their limbs. But I thought of this fellow, if then he can bark so loudly, what must be the power of his jaws and the terror of his bite ! Will he not overturn the whole of our realm, and destroy our polity ?
bingos :—Another hope that I conceive, Rhadamanthus, is that he will see the difficulties of our work, and be tolerant of us and inclined to help us. For in a certain play of his he proves that he has some pity and understand- ing for the task of judging men, and that he is unlikely to condemn us outright as malicious or cruel. And, though it would be hard enough that we, who are immortal and the delegates of the greatest gods, should accept sympathy and patronage from a mortal, yet it would be better than if mischances befell us, and we were overcome and routed from our places.
RHADAMANTHUS :—You have put more cheer and confi- dence in my heart than I. have felt for many days. But I am sure that it will be best if we petition the Olympians that he should be allowed at least thirty or forty years of life on earth. For, if what you say is true, then he will doubtless become kindlier and more understanding by a longer stay among men, and we shall have a reasonable assurance that he will cause us no discomfort when we meet him after so much time.
Mnios :—Brother. I agree with you most heartily. But let it be no longer than forty or fifty years at the utmost. For, in truth, I look forward (though with some timidity) to seeing this man ; and it occurs to me that he might even be willing to amuse us and make us laugh.
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