No. 1226: The winners

Jaspistos reports: Competitors were asked to expand a well-known nursery rhyme, limerick or clerihew in the style of a well- known poet.

G. K. Chesterton's virtuoso variations on :Old King Cole' set the high standard for this competition, and a dozen of you, among almost 100 entrants, fairly matched it. Congratulations, all. So, as Christopher Sly said, paucas pallabris: I shall shut up and make room for the six winners, who get £8 each, which doesn't even give me space to print the not so well known limerick about the girl who ultimately 'took off her boots and was sick in 'em' which is Peter Peterson's springboard. A specially honourable mention goes to the nearest runners-up, 0. Banfield and Jill Hingyi.

'Three Blind Mice' by Gerard Manley Hopkins Ah see, see! the sightless, the flight fleet

Of squealing squeakers, a wisp-whiskered trinity: How needless, heedless of wife's knife's vicinity, Throat-threatening, they run than rather retreat! Now tails trimmed, a timorous trio's feet Come tip-tumbling in marvellous, mewling affinity Of mice! In a trice, with One-in-Three divinity, They chase the chopper, which lightly lopped each seat!

And what harvester, reaper, weeps not at such horrible halving, When lengths, limp, lie strength-ended, and behind Is bare, each stropped, stripped, cropped by her carving?

How hard is the farm-mistress' arm to their harmless kind: For the fast-footed, fated field-mice, parlour- bent, were starving, Thieving for cheese, for a rind, yet ah! were all blind!

(Belle R. Welling)

'Little Miss Muffet' by Stevie Smith

When I sat down beside her, I'd no thought of harming

The poor little lass — I wanted to be Not alarming but charming.

Come back to your tuffet, dear Miss Muffet, I was sad when you didn't stay;

I only wanted to squat and watch You eating your curds and whey.

I may look crawly and creepy, But I'm really quite disarming, A friendly arachnid who's trying to be Calming — and not alarming.

(Andrew McEvoy)

'Sir Christopher Wren' by George Herbert

I strucke my Drawing Board and cride, `Awaie with Pride!

Ile call my Friends and give them Wine, Bidding them come and dine.'

'But how.' a knowne Voice said to mee, 'If in this Hour of ReveJrie One knockes, and knockes againe, Calling for thee by Name?'

On that I raved and swore: 'Why, who will trie the Doore Or venture in these Wailes While Ime designing Paul's?'

But stille, amid His Sighes, 'Tis strange,' He said, 'you build My House on Lies.' (Paul Griffin)

'Simple Simon' by Robert Burns

Quo' Simon, wi' ae brain a bittie spare, '0 geld pieman, wha's gaun tae the fair, Gin ye gie me ane pie then I'll buy mair — Thir unco bonnie:

'S a sma' request that is na owre sair To bid a cronie.'

But aft-times had thae twa thegither chaffed Sic that the pieman kenn'd Simon was saft. Himsel' a clever chiel an' no sae daft As wad be in-ta'en, He ca'd for bawbees first. Yon Simon lauched.

Aye! the loon had nane. (F. B. Anderson)

The Young Lady of Twickenham' by William Wordsworth

Once, as I wandered by the way, Beside a stile I saw a maid: Her feet were bare, her cheeks were grey, She looked dishevelled and dismayed.

'What dost thou here?' I asked. 'I am,' Said she, 'a maid from Twickenham.'

'Alas! I can no further go.

My boots are far too tight, you see.

Even if I should walk quite slow, 'Twould cause me cruel agony.'

And then she leant over that stile, And filled her boots with bitter bile.

(Peter Peterson)

'Curly locks, curly locks' by John Betjeman Miss M. Curly Locks, Miss M. Curly Locks, Roughened and toughened amidst the tower blocks,

How deftly you wash up the crocks after tea In my motorway cafe — you helping me!

Eight o'clock, ten o'clock, still on the scene — How I yearn for you, burn for you, ra-ra'd Maureen.

As you scrape off the pigs' food with chipped scarlet nails The customers wait and my courting prevails.

Maureen Curly Locks, Maureen Curly Locks, You shall loll on a sofa watching the box. We'll hire a home help and live out our dream Dining on pizzas, plonk and ice-cream.

(Ba Miller)