The Bagel beckons
Taki
JNew York ust before I left for the Big Bagel, Charlie Glass (known as the London Lothario since his appearance with Goldie Hawn and her daughter at the Bafta awards) came to stay with me in Rougemont. After a couple of days I noticed the Swiss farmers had changed. No more ruddy looks and mud-splattered boots, no leather plusfours, green alpine hats, traditional pipe and gruff manners. Some of them even looked scared of their cows. Well, not to worry.
The so-called Swiss peasants who hung around my place for days turned out to be paparazzi and hacks sent over by august publications such as the Globe and the National Enquirer. They were looking to catch Goldie and her daughter Kate Hudson in flagrante deli cto with the London Lothario, but all they got was Taki and Charlie going on long romantic walks as the snow had done a Lucky Lucan.
How wonderful the hacks are. They simply never get it right. As the great Yogi Berra said, 'It's déjà vu all over again.' Charlie Glass is a childhood friend of Goldie's, having grown up together in El Lay. There is as much hanky-panky going on between them as there are virgins in Hollywood, and Goldie, as nice a woman as one can encounter, called Charlie to apologise for the inconvenience. When the hacks could have had a story, they were literally out to lunch — or perhaps too busy filing phoney expenses to notice.
Some time ago the London Lothario was cautiously stepping out with Rachel Weisz, the star of Enemy at the Gates, in which she shoots and kills hundreds of terrified Wehrmacht soldiers. The romance fizzled out because Charlie has a terrible habit, which he got from me, of seeing carnal beauty as visible evidence of spiritual beauty. But that's not always the case where his girls are concerned, ergo the problem with Charlie, although I have yet to find one of mine lacking in both (and if you believe that you'll believe ).
Mind you. the Bagel is fun to come back to after three months of staring at cows wondering if they're mad or not. There are a few parties lined up already, starting with a Henry Kissinger and Oscar de la Renta blast to celebrate Ahmet and Mica Ertegun's 40th anniversary. Of marriage, that is. Ahmet is the greatest Turk since Ataturk, and a friend of very long standing. I don't suppose Marc Rich will be attending, nor Bill Clinton, both gents rather busy nowadays with splitting up the loot.
And speaking of loot, those who are campaigning for a cut in the death tax are not impressed with the worries of Bill Gates, George Soros and Warren Buffett. The three, as well as Paul Newman, are scared stiff that repealing the death tax might discourage rich people from giving money to charitable foundations. But as with most things George Soros says and does, he is being disingenuous.
The foundations in America are mostly private slush funds that the super-rich use to promote liberal causes and to enhance their own political influence, For example: Bill Gates put $25 billion into his private foundation, which is run by his old man, and when the billionaire dork dies, the $25 billion will be exempt from the estate tax. The same estate plan applies to Buffett, the Fords, the Rockefellers, and Soros. Billions and billions have escaped death taxes through the foundation scam, foundations that are notorious for promoting left-wing causes.
Oh yes, I almost forgot. Bill Clinton is also working the foundation scam, with his Little Rock library, which incidentally does not contain any books, raising taxdeductible money from ladies who lunch like Denise Rich and I'd hate to think who else. These tax-deductible funds allow crooks like the Clintons to live and travel in the style, even I have not been accustomed to, at taxpayer's expense. So, next time you read about a death tax being a tax cut for the rich, don't be fooled yet again by scam artists like Soros. Ninety per cent of federal estate tax returns filed are for estates of $2.5 million or less. These are the mugs that aren't rich enough to escape death taxes through private foundations, so their small businesses or farms are sold to pay up to 55 per cent rates.
It was a good try Paul, Bill, George and Warren (I'm amazed at the company the last name keeps; I thought he was a good guy) and you did manage to fool most of the people, but the poor little Greek boy has got your number.
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