YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED
Q: My mother, my siblings, and old family friends from my childhood have always called me 'Tommy' and I have learned to live with that. But since I reached the age of 13, more than 30 years ago, I have pre- ferred everybody else, apart from beautiful Women, to call me 'Tom'. I have one male acquaintance, however, who has persisted In calling me 'Tommy' since our first meet- ing a few years ago, when he overheard my sister addressing me by that name. This irri- tates me like mad. To make matters worse, this man is a former MP famous for his homosexuality (not Matthew Parris of whom I am very fond). My fear is that when others hear him addressing me as Tommy, they will assume that there is an intimacy between us of a kind the very thought of winch disgusts me. I write now, because I run into this man inevitably in the course of hlY work and I have just had to endure con- s htant greetings from him at the Conserva- „ve party en confernow,ce inwit Bournemouth. 'low can I let him khout sounding Pompous or uncivil, that henceforth he must call me 'Tom'?
T. U., South London A. Let us pretend your name is Tom Titter. Next time the offender addresses you as Tommy' reply pleasantly, 'My dear fellow, haven't you heard the latest? Henceforth everyone must call me Tom. Apparently
Dear Mary. . .
there's another Tommy Titter in my line of business, although I've never met him. By all accounts he's something of a berk. So from now on I'm going to be Tom to all and sundry. It was only really ever my fami- ly who called me Tommy anyway.
Q. Your advice on how to deal with bankers who talk shop at dinner parties reminded me of my visit to Lloyds Bank, Catterick Garrison branch, last week. The stalwart soldier in front of me was asked by the teller how he would like his money and replied unequivocally, 'In my hand.' Col- lapse of stout teller! P.G., Richmond, North Yorkshire A. Thank you for sharing this joke.
Q. You recently gave advice as to how to handle the awkward situation of feeling embarrassed at receiving a small amount of change from a shopkeeper. The approach which I adopt in these situations is to pay with a much higher note. The small amount of change will then be returned to you as part of the larger amount. For example, if the item costs $9.90, I pay with a $20 note, not a $10 one.
PA, Canberra, Australia A. Thank you for your letter which will be of service on days when readers are feeling weak or hormonal and not up to the chal- lenge of standing up to a shopkeeper.
Q. I am a busy housewife and often wish I had two pairs of hands. What is the correct etiquette about occasionally carrying objects in one's teeth?
S.B., Brokenborough, Wilts A. This is perfectly acceptable as long as these are not foodstuffs destined for other people's immediate consumption. You should also take care to avoid making eye contact when your teeth are thereby engaged and someone offers to lend assis- tance. It would then be necessary to open your mouth to reply, thus releasing the objects from their dental clamp.
If you have a problem write to Dear Mary, clo The Spectator, 56 Doughty Street, London WC1N 2LL.
Previous page
