Q. Last week I attended the funeral of a man
I have known well for over 20 years. As the mourners spilled out of the church, I was approached by someone I know only slightly, who greeted me with the screeching cry, 'What on earth are you doing here?' I felt this was neither the time nor the place to deliver an ungentlemanly putdown to a woman whose own presence at the funeral was somewhat questionable. She is not thought to have been particularly well acquainted with my deceased friend, but the unrivalled social payload at his funeral was clearly irresistible to her. In any case, I could not think of a put-down. Can you, Mary?
N.A., London W6 A. The woman is likely to have been projecting. You could have put her in her place by replying in a conspiratorial but solemn whisper. 'Actually, I do a spot of moonlighting for the undertaker. How about you?'
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