Q. This Christmas my sister-in-law gave me a set of
boxer shorts. This was absolutely fine, but she has chosen to give them to me in a colour which is khaki or, not to mince words, dung-coloured. I feel this is a slight assault on my standards of personal hygiene and, as I had to unwrap these in front of my extended family, I feel sure that she was trying to make some sort of point. How can I get my revenge?
Name and address withheld A. Next time you give your sister-in-law a present in front of an extended family group, give her a set of 'replacement heads' to a water-pik dental irrigation device of the type used by people suffering from advanced gum disease, also sold by John Bell & Croyden (7.19). This will cause the group to gather around saying, 'What on earth are those?' Stay silent as your sister-in-law is forced to explain. No doubt she will blush crimson as she does so.
Mary Killen
If you have a problem write to Dear Maly, clo The Spectator, 56 Doughty Street, London WC1N 2LL.
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