Baedeker with the Lid Of

SPECTATOR COMPETITION No. 274 Report by Allan 0. Waith The atmosphere of Boston was neatly summed up in the well-known verse : 'I come from the city of Boston.

The home of the bean and the cod, Where the Lowells speak only to Cabots And the Cabots speak only to God.'

Competitors were asked for a four-line epigram on any town or city, at home or abroad -preferably not too obscure.

THIS competition, though depressing for the travel agent, provided a useful holiday list of places to be missed at all costs. In over two hundred entries, most of them of a high standard, there were far more quotable items than can possibly be printed. There was no difficulty in selecting Erica Scott's epitome of Southport for a first prize of £3, with £1 each to H. A. C. Evans and Douglas Hawson. Honourable mention to all those whose entries appear below, several of which run the prize-winners very close, and also to J. P. Mullarky, Gillian Gavin- Brown, Una Cheverton, R. J. Hirst, Ursula L. Bowlby, Nancy Gunter, Mrs. I. M. Roberts, D. L. L. Clarke, 'Katy,' R. Ken- nard Davis, Nan Wishart, G. J. Blundell and Mrs. R. McDonald, for whose entries there is insufficient space.

PRIZES

(ERICA SCOTT)

On Southport, where a statue of Queen Victoria surveys the promenade.

We are all of us snobs at Southport, For the Queen looks down on me As I look down on the foreshore- And it looks down on the sea.

(H. A. C. EVANS)

Can this be the City Of London, The dream of Sir Christopher Wren? Si nunc monumentum requiris

COMM ENDED

I come from the Univ. of Oxford, The city of cars and the jam,

I know and have even seen Cambridge, And I'm glad I am where I am.

(F. E. THOMAS)

How worthy Hull But God How dull.

(C. PLACE)

They raise the hymn In chapels grim, And wear no makeup In the borough of Bacup.

(REV. D. M. GREENHALGH)

I come from the city of Cardiff, The haunt of the preacher and poet, Where there's no keeping up with the Joneses, And don't the Joneses know it !

(E. C. JENKINS)

In Beverley Hills, California, Where they drink from a Hollywood Bowl They have glands or neuroses for playmates And CinemaScope for a soul.

(JOHN G. BARRADALE)

Betwixt the Castle And the Thames My native Windsor Condescends. (D. WYLOW) I come from the city of Chichester, In the county where Belloc has trod, Where the Bishop speaks only to Baptists, And the Baptists think Graham is God.

(-r. W. GERVAIS) A word on the aity of Worcester,

Renowned for Floods, Cricket and Fane : Its Women take some getting use'ter- They are so uncommonly plain.

(D. M. BIDDEN)

We've recently come up to Cambridge- To laze, or to play, or to cram- Where the streets are reserved for the cyclist, And the others don't matter a damn.

(J. w. MCFEETERS)

Here's to old Aberdeen city, The home of tall stories of thrift, Where the folk can afford to be witty, Since the habit's well known as a gift.

(ALLAN M. LAING)

I come from the town of Poona Where militant bores are bred; Where Majors talk only of Colonels And Colonels repeat what they've said.

(ALAN WHARAM)

Boasted goal of all roads' meeting, Haunt of artist, prelate, jurist, What are lesser Romans doing? Principally the British tourist.

(SIR JOHN CRAIG)

I'm a man of Las Vegas, Nevada, The card-sharpers' town where, of course, If your wife loses money on credit, You can always get a divorce.

. (N. P. GOODISON)

Birmingham City's a one-way town, Roun' and rosin' and roun' an' roun', Wherever it is you want to go You're bound to end in Colmore Row.

(RICHARD GREET)

They say of grimy Manchester, 'The best way out is gin'; A better far, I must suppose,

Is never to go in.

(GUY KENDALL)