Q. At a garden drinks party I talked to a
woman I have known for ages, though not intimately. She is splendid on a horse but in conversation is possessed of a highoctane speech sibilant. At a thrilling moment during one of her hunting yarns, sardine canapé shrapnel struck me on the chin. Please, Mary, what is the correct way to deal with an errant sardine?
M.W., Needham Market, Suffolk A. On becoming conscious that foodstuffs from another’s mouth have landed on your own face during enthusiastic conversation, the correct protocol is to stage a coughing fit, thus allowing you to double up and revolve 180 degrees. While so doing you can manually remove the detritus from where it has landed so that the offender’s dignity is maintained in the short term. Once the conversational cluster has broken up, you can move towards a sanitary outlet where you can hose yourself down properly.
Previous page