Q. We were recently married and a number of people
who had informed us that they were coming failed to appear on the day. Besides the disappointment, our catering was not cheap and these no-shows cost us a considerable sum. We had to be tough with numbers, and we had a few people who were slightly hurt not to have been invited. We could have used the places for them. Our question is this: should we chastise the people who failed to appear? If so, how?
M. & K.M., Cairns, Queensland, Australia A. Twenty years ago, had RSVP’d wedding guests failed to materialise, one would have expected the worst — a car crash, serious illness, a family death.... Today you can assume that they either had better invitations at the last minute or just ran out of energy on the day of your wedding. The superbug causing the epidemic of discourtesy in society can clearly be identified as the mobile telephone. When every other arrangement, whether social or professional, can be rescheduled at the last moment, this casual attitude even extends to weddings. Needless to say, we were all much happier before the obscenity of social choice that now confronts us. But the epidemic of discourtesy is no excuse. Yes, you should chastise them. Do this by ringing up in tones of the utmost sympathy to say you are back from your honeymoon now and that everything is well at your end, they need not worry. You do not wish to intrude but if there is any way you can help you would be happy to. Then remain silent while they splutter out an explanation for their non-appearance.
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