Q. A dear bachelor colleague has a problem with personal
hygiene. Others are beginning to laugh at him behind his back — the main complaint is the ‘smell of frying onions’. How can I help without hurting his feelings?
E.S., London W11 A. Wear some cologne to work, then ask your friend what he thinks of it. Even if he fails to admire it, act daft and present him with a tightly wrapped package saying you have been given more bottles than you can use. Inside the package will lurk a deodorant from the same cosmetic house. ‘How did you find the cologne?’ you can ask. ‘Oh, it was a deodorant,’ he will reply. ‘Not cologne. Do you want it back?’ ‘Oh sorry. But do keep it. I have more than enough deodorants as well,’ you can claim. ‘You must try it,’ you can continue guilelessly, ‘because do you ever feel you might be smelling of frying onions? I used to all the time and it completely stops that — you have to wash as well, of course.’ There should be no need to enlarge.
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