YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED
Dear Mary. . .
Q. My wife and I will be having a holiday abroad in May, when we shall be joined by our daughter and son-in-law Mike. Mike is a very macho young man, if ever there was one. He is a good driver, except that I feel he makes no allowances for anything such as the tyres, the road surface, other road- users' behaviour or his own reactions being substandard. So far he has been lucky. We would like to hire a car (whose driving Mike is sure to want to share), but in view of the mountainous terrain, the high local accident rate and Mike's style of driving, my wife and I are very apprehensive at the thought of being driven by him. Can you please suggest a tactful way of persuading Mike to drive more cautiously and more safely?
D.O'S., Amersham 4. There is no way of persuading reckless drivers to mend their ways since until they actually do plunge over a ravine they are unable to imagine such a possibility ever occurring. The solution to this problem is to tell Mike that the insurance company dealing with your hire car has offered you a Phenomenally cheap rate for a 'drivers over SO only' deal. You feel you cannot possibly pass this over. Therefore, though you are sorry that he will be unable to take his turn at the wheel, at least you can celebrate the huge savings in money by splashing out on high-quality restaurant stops. If he feels he will not be pulling his weight you can put him in charge of lugging all the luggage to and from the car between stops.
Q. For the third time in a year I spent a night with my brother and his wife, who are around 70 (but nothing wrong with their eyesight) and this time I couldn't resist it. Alone in their kitchen, making myself a cup of tea because I couldn't sleep, I set about cleaning the dirty, chipped electric kettle that was clearly once white. It was immensely satisfying because I finished up with what looks like a pristine, brand-new white kettle, it now being clear that even the 'chips' were really no more than long- standing dirt. Surely they must have noticed the transformation? But they have said nothing, and I have said nothing. Yet I feel a certain tension in the air and fear that they may hate me for doing this. What should I have done in the first place? And what do I do now? At least I am my hostess's brother-in-law, not her mother- in-law or her sister-in-law, if that helps at all.
Name and address withheld A. Once having sensed the tension in the air you could have righted your wrong- doing by restoring the kettle to its original state. Some maple syrup smeared over it perhaps, then allowed to harden by heating it for a few moments over the stove. You need have said nothing further but if direct- ly challenged by your brother or sister-in- law you could have sighed, 'On considera- tion I realised it was much friendlier as it was, so I got it back to its original state for you.'
Mary Killen
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