High life
Ladies first
Taki
ellesley College is an expensive, Waspish place of learning for young women, but one which has obviously failed the 150 morons who signed a petition to protest against Barbara Bush as their commencement speaker. Here's the ele- gant way in which the protest was worded by the head moron, one Susanna Carde- nas: 'If she hadn't been married to this guy who happens to be President, we never would have heard of her.'
These shrill, ugly women are so desper- ate to worship feminism, they denigrate the choice of motherhood while living off their daddy's moolah. Worse, nobody pro- tested at the last two commencement speakers: Susan Estrich, manager of the ludicrous Dukakis campaign to turn Amer- ica into a souvlaki haven, and Gloria Steinem, career feminist and one-time moll of social climber Mort Zuckerman (he dropped her after a dispute over her diaphragm).
Mind you, these Wellesley harpies are not alone. There are others among the weaker sex who believe Barbara Bush has committed the cardinal sin, that of quietly raising a large family and living in the shadow of a man she admires and respects. Her other sin, always according to the harridans, is that unlike that shallow Holly- wood Barbie doll Nancy Reagan, or its Southern version Rosalynn Carter, Babs runs the house of George Bush but doesn't try and run the country.
And although the shrill voices of the feminists are in the minority, if it was up to me I would do away with them altogether. A large outdoor prison camp would not be a bad solution. Then the sexes could go about their business without the hysteria that I believe causes all the trouble be- tween men and women in the first place. (Plus the alarming rise of homosexuality in America. If I was married to one of these ghastly women, I'd turn queer too.) Mrs Bush, of course, is not the first first lady to take a back seat to her husband and not to speak out on issues she was not elected to influence. Pat Nixon was as fine a wife and mother as is humanly possible to be, and Bess Truman was also in that mould.
The worst by far was that ghastly Eleanor Roosevelt, the North American version of Eva Peron, although the Argie hustler was far prettier. Jackie Kennedy was no prize either. She spent public money as if it was, well, public money, brought interior decorators into the White House (ironically they passed for gentle- men next to the Kennedy clan) and served as middleman for rich people trying to get to the President.
Lyndon Johnson was such a crook and liar that we cannot possibly know the real Lady Bird. Mamie Eisenhower and Betty Ford were most of the time high while first ladies, which in a way makes it a pity that Dukakis didn't become President. A Mamie, Betty and Kitty clinic would have taken care of all addictions.
And speaking of first ladies, my Washington spies tell me that during last week's White House correspondents' din- ner, Marla Maples, the Trump crumpet, was a guest of Time magazine. But not for long. Bored by the liberal corporate types that have turned a once great publication into an anti-American rag, she left and went to sit next to Arnaud de Borchgrave, the fiihrer of the Washington Times. She then proceeded to run her fingers through his hair, to the great fury of his wife and secretaries. A smart cookie this Marla, and not a Wellesley alumna.
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