Election Corridors

To spendthrift Growth and bankrupt Envy prey, Brought thus to fare perfection of Decay, Britain attracts, as mouldy cheese does flies Chaos and Dulness to dispute this prize, Who, democratic, bid the people: "Choose Gay Chaos or smooth Dulness for your Muse. For forms of Government but fools contest." Which Heath and Wilson speedily attest.

Wilson, like Caesar on the fateful Ides, Surrounds himself with cronies and derides Those warning omens Nature doth reveal.

(At which the mountains quake and streams congeal.) "Behold the Giant Inflation has expired. Is close to death, or sick, or else retired, At any rate is absent for today." (The winds begin to howl and oaks to sway.)

He waves a verbal contract in his hand.

-The curse of Idleness is banished. And

Each workman, safe in work, will rest content With what he now receives." (The graves are rent.) "Most Economic Prudence we'll combine With Subsidies whenever people dine, Pay rent, or Strike, from Birth till someone dies."

(The blood of Philip Snowden liquefies.) Approaches Chalfont, once a Hack, arrayed By Wilson's favour in a Baron's braid, And made a Placeman, whence he then retired Unbought by Pomp and Office merely hired. And, calling Jove to witness his distaste For politicians who ai !ouble-faced, For tyrants who would let the people vote. He honoured Truth r nd re-reversed his coat.

Denouncing sudden novelties, as when To union claims the Cabinet says "Amen."

He draws his blade and self to full degree.

And stabs at Caesar just below the knee.

On Wilson's right fair Shirley broods upon Her conscience. French, Exclusive (St. Laurent Valiant for Truth, on Europe she defies; (On prices, well-content with party lies.) Declares a Britain, voting "No," ingrate, Fit to be left to its infernal fate; Then lays aside her halo, wings and harp And, plunging in the knitting-needle sharp, Destroys the fragile unity of myth. Now enters her elitist kin and kith.

First. Jenkins imitates the fighting Turk, Resolved to give his corkscrew bloody work, Aims calm, judicious blows and then retreats, Rupert of paper triumphs, real defeats.

Then reckless Viscounts, self-important ghosts, Shades of their present selves, descend in hosts.

Claw, tear, attack and ruffle Wilson's hair, Even provoke their enemy to swear, a writhing, rolling, disharmonious show.

Rejoicing, Chaos rings the curtain low.

Now Dulness askes her Champion to start, And speak directly from his wooden heart, Give voice to logick's iron conclusions, vet What wit, what passion lies unbroken yet. -To curb the dash of prices after pay," He said. And several heads began to sway. "When freedom to debate your wage you

chose," Mouths open hung and eyes began to close. "When Artisans more national debt incurred." A loud, persistent snoring could be heard. These divers problems, in his eyes, called forth But one solution -South, West, East and North, All of the classes, Master, Man and Maid In national unity must be arrayed. "For national unity will sweeten laws, Cure chilblains, banish dandruff, polish floors. Obtainable at polling-stations free, To guarantee supply, just vote for me." He halts. Chaos to Dullness hands the prize. And Common Sense surveys the scene and dies.

Torn Puzzle