High life
Cast of villains
Taki
New York ell, I never made it as far as Tokyo. All that training and worrying went to waste. A bureaucratic hitch kept me out of Japan and the world shotokan karate championship. Worse, it marooned me in New York in the middle of a hurricane and among the motliest group of strutting political peacocks this side of Beirut. Yes, I do mean the so-called statesmen who at this very moment are wining and dining themselves like the brothers Karamazov at the New York taxpayer's expense. This is the United Nations' 40th anniversary, and most of the world's oppressors are here, or on their way to these shores, in order to address the most ridiculous body since that of Quasimodo. Needless to say, their presence here needs the kind of protection it warrants back home, which means whole blocks sealed off, sharp-shooters on every roof, hundreds of policemen on overtime — the works. Protection increases in direct proportion to the number of the leader's fellow nationals residing here — i.e. Castro will need it constantly because there are a lot of Cubans here, as will Jaruzelski of Poland. Even more ironic is the fact that it is the countries that call themselves demo- cratic and socialist which need the most guards. The city of New York is picking up the bill for the extravaganza, which means that I, and the rest of the suckers living here, will be paying for it. Which leads me to believe that there is something terribly wrong with American democracy in gener- al, and the kind practised by New York in particular. I am convinced that if there was a vote on whether the UN should be allowed to remain here, the only pro votes would be cast by those free-loaders posted here as members of the most bloated body since that of King Farouk.
While the hurricane threatened, people like Governor Cuomo (a man with Peter- Hall-like appetite where others' money is concerned) constantly went on television assuring the people that they and their honoured guests would be given adequate protection from the elements. Wrath of God would have been closer to the truth. And it was altogether fitting that following the first speaker God let loose with the kind of protest not seen in these parts since 1938. Yes, it was the man who serves the heroes of Afghanistan, Prague, Budapest, the Berlin Wall, Estonia, Latvia, Lithua- nia, and the Ukraine who spoke first, soon followed by the man who brought down Solidarity, smashed the heads of working men, and imprisoned Lech Walesa.
What a cast of villains. Castro and the mad Gaddafi are both expected, and both will be given the platform of the UN, the ear of the world, and even credence by some, while they spread their message of mayhem and mutual hatred of those who pick up the bill. And speaking of bills, Castro's latest antic is a campaign of personal diplomacy to get Latin-American nations to knock the $361 billion they owe to US banks. (It serves people like David Rockefeller right for shelling out to clowns keep imagining that people are avoiding me.' like the Brazilians, but it is small fry like Taki whose loans are called in first when the big ones default.) Even funnier than the speeches and posturing of the Castros of this world, are the shenanigans of some that serve them. For example: Mexico's ambassador to the UN, Porfirio Munoz-Ledo, pulled a gun on a motorist and broke the windows of his car because the taxpayer had parked 18 inches inside his 'personal diplomatic park- ing space'. No charges were filed. North Korea's third secretary, 0 Nam Cho], sexually molested a New York woman and then took sanctuary in his mission for a year. He then fled the country. Ghana's attaché to the UN, Manuel Aryee, raped two women and is suspected of having attacked three others. The police couldn't do anything about it, except put him on a plane for home.
The list is long. The son of a Niger diplomat kidnapped a Brooklyn woman at gunpoint, while Yemen's ambassador's son mowed down some of Wall Street's bright- est lights while on a drunken joy-ride up Park Avenue. Both got away scot free. I could go on and on but I won't. What I will do is try and protest by not paying city tax this year, which means not buying anything in the city. How will I manage it? Easy. I am moving to Southampton, Long Island, for the duration of my stay here. Not only am I unable to see the UN from there, but I cannot smell it either.
Previous page
