5 OCTOBER 1996, Page 71

High life

Hammer horror

Taki

Armand Hammer is a billionaire, an art collector, a friend of Prince Charles, an intimate of Gorbachev, and the greatest social-climber, name-dropper, liar and crook in the world.' This prescient para- graph appeared in 'High life' ten years ago, with just one difference. The then sainted editor, Charles Moore, took out the word crook and then immediately went to church to pray fervently that the Hammer and Sickle wouldn't sue over the liar part. He didn't, and now we know why. For once, the poor little Greek boy had it right. Ham- mer was a terrific crook and lied like Maxwell.

Hammer bought my father's 5th Avenue apartment in 1965, a fact that made me hate the bum even before I realised what a spy and crook he was. The Kennedy admin- istration, with Bobby Kennedy as the evil genius, had decided to go after Greek ship- owners living in the Land of the Depraved and force us to pay taxes for profits we made overseas. Greek ship-owners pay their taxes at home, while providing jobs and being the numero uno contributors to the Greek GNP. What they refuse to do and refused back then — is to be the pat- sies for sons of gangsters a la Kennedys who were trying to make up for their father's sins by swindling honest people like my dad. We all moved en masse to Europe, and will move again if those Labour bums try to enforce the politics of envy come next year.

After my parents moved back to Greece full time, I inherited this wonderful flat, which had an added attraction. As it was in the Sherry-Netherland, I could give parties galore and charge everything to good old dad. It was great fun while it lasted. I was 28 years old, with a large 5th Avenue flat and unlimited party-giving funds. Life was never sweeter until the spy-crook Hammer made an offer my daddy could not refuse and out I went. For some strange reason I lost a certain popularity I was enjoying among my chic Manhattan friends immedi- ately following. But back to Hammer.

It was Arnaud de Borchgrave, the Bel- gian nobleman who sold his soul to Newsweek and subsequently to the Wash- ington Times, who first told me about Ham- mer and the Reds. Arnaud had the best contacts and sources in the whole wide world, and was always close to nailing the spy, but Hammer somehow stayed one step ahead of the Belgian count. Now another friend, Ed Epstein, has spilled the beans, but a bit late I'm afraid. Hammer lived to a ripe old age of 92 and died in his bed rather than a prison one. With Robert Maxwell, we at least had the satisfaction of seeing a great crook and liar, and probably a spy also, fished out of the drink. Not so with Armando. He covered up everything, looted the public companies he presided over, bankrolled his much-vaunted philan- thropy with funds not his own, and built up a more or less important art collection the same way.

So what else is new? Steve Ross, of Time Warner, now presiding over his board in the sauna-like place below, did exactly the same thing as Hammer, without the spying bit. He gave generously to the French in exchange for a socialist government honour he could wear in his lapel. He entertained hundreds and gave away millions not his own. He, too, died in his own bed. Using corporate cash is hardly a new angle. Ham- mer, Maxwell and Ross (not his original name) simply made it an art form.

What I don't agree with is the sly and bitchy way the press has reported Epstein's revelations where Prince Charles is con- cerned. Hammer, I am sure, sought to gain influence with the Prince by contributing to the latter's charities, but so what? If only clean money was accepted by charitable institutions there would not be many of them around. Prince Charles and various American presidents had no way of know- ing what a crook Hammer was — that is what hacks are for — but the media, espe- cially the Americans, were genuflecting before the bandit throughout his grotesque lifetime. The only good thing about the bum was that he kept mistresses — at oth- ers' expense, needless to say. That's the only thing I envy him for. If only I could write off mine.

Jeffrey Bernard will return next week.