YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED
Dear Mary.. .
Q. What is the social etiquette when you take an extremely good bottle of vintage wine to some friends for dinner and find on arrival that there are more guests than you expected? I did this once and the host took the bottle and put it away in a cup- board for his own consumption at a later date. This has clouded my judgment of this man ever since; some argue that it was taken as a personal present and could be treated as such but I think it was mon- strous behaviour.
E.M., Nairobi A• Your host was in a difficult position but what he could have done was to discreetly bring out his diary and book in a date when You could drink the wine together. Inciden- tally, if you take vintage champagne it should be transported cold, otherwise it can be put in the fridge never to re-emerge.
?: What is the correct thing to say to a friend who was chef d'equipe of a team at the Olympic Games when that team did badly? One cannot very well say 'Well done, as it would be too obviously hypo- critical. Nor can one pretend not to have been watching the whole thing on televi- sion, glued to every moment. I am going to meet the man in question at din- ner next week. It will be the first time since before the games. What on earth shall I say?
Name and address withheld A. Greet your friend with the usual physical gusto but instead of saying, 'How are you?' — shout 'What happened9ffi I I ' Practise saying 'What happened?' beforehand so that you get exactly the right inflection to imply that, whatever happened, it was cer- tainly not his fault. Q. I recently had dinner at the elegant home of some friends in Chicago. The food needed salt to bring out the delicate flavours. 'Sorry,' said the charming hostess, but none of us eat salt so we don't have any in the house.' I like these friends but I also like salt on my food. Should I bring in my own supplies next time? Would my hostess be insalted?
D.G.
A. Obviously you cannot keep salt about your person all the time. However, when visiting these specific friends and other anti-saltists, it would be prudent to secrete a sachet into the dining-room. Tip the con- tents of the sachet into your napkin, which is positioned in your lap still unfolded. Then fully open the napkin with a flourish over your plate of food so that the salt falls in a palatable pattern. Your hostess need be none the wiser.
Mary Killen
If you have a problem, please write to 'Dear Mary, The Spectator, 56 Doughty Street, London, WC IN 2LL.
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