In Blundetland 111E1X me where are howlers bred ? Or
in the heart or 1 in the head ? For the sake Of the intellectual Credit of the youth of o our nation, let us not believe' that the head is responsible for these joyous recreations of the examination-room ; rather one may hope that they. proceed from the care-free and emotional outpourings of the heart, or from that rule so well knoWn to all eiatiai nees : " If you have nothing to say; say it." There are instances, too, when the truly literal mind gets to work and in answer to the queition--L." Under whit 'circum- stances doeS the fourth act of Hainlet begin ? "—returns the absolutely. indefeasible answer : " The fourth act of Hamlet commences immediately at the end of the 'third act." And who date attack thii position ? . . . . - - - • • . But the origin of the howler matters very little. Rather let us greet it, when it appears, with a shout of joy. Indeed, to that weary drudge, theexaminer, as he travels over. the dull plain of conscientious mediocrity, the coming of the howler is like the shadoW of a great rock in a thirsty land ; he drinks refieihnient and new vigour from it and.:travels (for a time) gaily on. at It is like th portent which is said to have guided the Israelites thiough the sands and rocks of Sinai=" .a pillat of fire by night and a pillar of salt by. day," as once it was phrased by one Who -had become a trifle mixed in his Biblical history. Si non verb, a ben trovato, as may be 'said of another, a linguist this time, who translated un pre.tre assassins as "a stickit minister." .
But , of - all . the subjects in which - the hard-pressed examinee gives freest rein to his imagination,. that of geography offers the widest and .delightfullest scope. This is only natural. The world itself is so wide and so full_ of varied delight that . imagination runs .free—that imagination which the absurd rules of examination insist should be unfairly penalized for its fertility. Stony is the heart which could resist the following description (from an Irish hand) of the River Shannon : " The river glides through deep ravines overlooked by hills covered with woods, where the wild deer and the fox, the panther and the otter find an almost unmolested abode, .where the turtle-dove and linnet, the grouse and the badger can sing and ramble at ease." Or' take this composite acCount_ of the Scottish Highlands, as furnished by several hands at a recent Oxford Local Examination " The people of the Highlands are keen sportsmen and are chiefly engaged in rifle-shooting at the grouse, in the forests of - Scotch fur which cover the mountains." But another authority maintains that " the moors of Scotland are noted for the sport they Provide in gorse-shooting," though yet a third will have it that " Scotland contains practically no game except sparrows of which there is a superabundance." But to continue: " The Highlanders have no real occupa- tion. They inhabit caves." Some,. however (it seems) " go in for sheep-rearing or are ,hermits." " Even now, unless .there is a common danger, the clans fight among themselves, and are very reserved," but " the people are chiefly old people, proud of their race and their country and they do all they can to make it a. success.." " They have not much intelligence." So now we can place our Highland Scot. Elsewhere in Scotland they make " tweed from heather . principally, easily procured from the heather-clad slopes of Scotland, and also from wool."
Ireland being a new country—at least so far as the Irish Free -State is concerned—it is right that- we should have some new information- about it, as that " an im- portant mountain range in Ireland is the Killieerankie Creeks " while " in the Bog of Allen, where the bog is not very deep,- the people cut out lawyers and make them into peat?' - As to the housing question in Ireland, " the houses in the west of -Ireland are made of mud, and the pigs are allowed to run amuck in them." Amuck, Under the circumstances,- seems a specially well-chosen phrase. • . Again, take the case of a foreign people—the Nor- Wegians " The chief oecupation of Norway consists in Cutting down trees in the carnivorous forests." Obviously . . . . a' meat-diet greatly increases the height of Norwegian coniferohs timber, for " when trees are being hewn down, the luniberera have to take care that there are no people in the way of it for at least half 'a Mlle in all directions." Another industry carried on in Norway is fishing : " the Men' fish and the girls' sell them." This heartless slave-- trading on *the part of Nor*egian women is explained; when we hear that " the women are not able to work as much as 'the -Men, but have important polities' privi- leges." Fishingis an" easy job, for "the fish are blind, and cannot tell when they are to he caught." Butfiatural history WAS :ever a Stumbling-block. to the British examinee, who will have it that " the plains of Siberia are roamed over by the lynx and the laryrix," and who furnishes alio an interesting account'of the camel c " The camel can Carry 'enough water in -a" pouch which it pas: sesse-S, Whieli will last it fora few weeks ; from this by a passage water is passed to its hoofs, which keeps them moist and prevents them from being burnt by the hot sand." " A camel can go eight days without a drink," but (adds another rollicking blade) " who wants to be a camel ? "
Physical definitions are another trouble. One disciple of the New Learning states that " a cyclone is a wind in which there is no other like it. When a cyclone appears, the thermometer keeps going round and round and :never stops; then the captain of a ship knows what is going to happen." " A volcano," states another, " is a mountain with a creator at the top who pours out lava " ; or, as a Variant, " many mountains were formed by eruptions when the volcano through up its lather." After this, one need not be surprised to hear that " wheat is used for straw hats and the tougher stalks for macaroni." Surely the examination is the last .surviving example in this country of the inquiry by torture. In that light it must have been regarded by another hapless Wight, of whom it was demanded : " Say what you know of the Grand Banks of Newfoundland," and desperately he answers : "The Grand Banks of Newfoundland' are very graiid."
M. J. C. METICLEJOHN.
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