YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED Q. As far as I am concerned,
the whole point of a drinks party is to meet as many people as possible. I therefore like occa- sionally to glance over the shoulder of who- ever I am talking to in order to ensure that I am not missing any key person. I know that an extraordinary number of people find this habit offensive and wonder how one can prevent their noticing. Please advise.
C.H., London SWI A. Why not use the method employed by one of the country's most competent social- isers? H.B. finds that, provided he keeps his eyes fixed in an intent stare on those of his interlocutor, it will stand him in good stead when he swivels his head suddenly back- wards or sideways as though someone is nudging or pushing him. On the return sweep he can usually take in the room with- out suspicion. H.B. also points out that as long as one is staring intently at an interlocu- tor there is no need to listen to what he or she is saying. This leaves the ears free to eavesdrop on other nearby conversations.
I thought you might like to give your female readers the following useful tip. Occasionally one lunches with persistent male friends who may want to accompany
Dear Mary. . .
one out of the restaurant and along the street — sometimes even back to one's place of accommodation. If your destina- tion is not far enough away for a taxi trip, tell them you have to go to the chemist. They are always much too embarrassed by women's biological make-up to feel inclined to follow and so will quickly march down the street in the opposite direction.
L.B.S., London SW3 A. Thank you for your tip which would indeed be effective in discouraging certain types of Englishmen.
Q. For three years now I have been taking my neighbour's two young children to school each day, a distance of three miles, along with my own child. My neighbour is not
expected to collect my child in return. Each year my neighbour compensates me by buy- ing me a bottle of supermarket champagne. As my neighbour and her husband are a pro- fessional couple and earn more than I do, I find this donation derisory, especially as I am not particularly fond of champagne. How do I explain to her a) that I do not want champagne, and b), more importantly, that £20 is an inappropriate amount for the services rendered over a full year?
K.I.A., Brighton A. Decide on a reasonable reward figure, say £100. Then explain to your neighbours that, for budgetary reasons, you will be changing your car insurance cover from comprehensive to third party, fire and theft only. Say that, though you would like to continue driving the children to school, your insurance company has advised you against doing so as you would be unable to bear the cost of any compensation pay- ments in the event of an accident to them. `The only way round it, they say,' you can continue bleakly, 'would be for you to make up the difference . . . but it probably wouldn't be worth it to you to have to pay out £100 just to have your children taken to school every day for a year.'
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