Spectator Sport
There’s got to be some direct relationship these days between the bad behaviour of the Twickenham crowd and the feebleness of the English team. When the Twickers faithful launched into an insanely enthusiastic rendition of ‘Swing Low’ as the All Blacks went into the haka last weekend, you knew there was trouble in store. The haka should happen in relative silence, just like the national anthems — though the crowd has taken to booing them as well. Do the Twickers massive think their borrowed slave song has greater resonance than the utterly authentic haka? As the Barbour and hip-flask brigade trundled back to the shires on Saturday evening, they might have thought it wasn’t such a good idea to irritate the All Blacks.
And the most eye-moistening moment of the game was at the end. As these giant athletes came forward to embrace Lady Hillary — this game was for the brand-new Edmund Hillary plate — you could see their pride and this tiny elderly lady’s joy too. Absolute magic: honour, respect, achievement and great national pride.
So Martin Johnson’s young England team took an absolute walloping from the three southern titans. (Unlike the Welsh, who are playing with a smile and a spring, and should have beaten the Springboks to add to their deserved victory over the Wallabies.) But don’t despair, Jonno, the upcoming Six Nations should be a stonker.
Why? Well, when teams clear out their old guards, it always gets interesting. Now it’s English rugby’s turn. And it’s been a long time coming. The new order is taking shape. Fullback Delon Armitage is a shoe-in for Jonny Wilkinson’s place — not as fly-half but as the Twickenham widow’s pin-up. And he showed enough flashes of class against New Zealand — including that penalty from way out wide — to claim the No. 15 shirt. His kicking out of hand was better than Toby Flood’s, too.
And did you see the glint in Cipriani’s eye when the TV cameras cut to the stands after yet another hopeless high ball from Flood? The 21-year-old wants his shirt back from the 23-year-old. A battle between young guns for a place at the heart of England’s future. Does it get better than that? Come 7 February, whoever gets the nod should pick up confidence at home against Italy. As for the forwards, Jonno must have shuddered when the Kiwis so easily won England’s scrum off their own put-in, setting up a Muliaina try. But Nick Easter is growing in stature as one of those pacey ballcarriers that must make backs despair. It seems to me that when No. 8s — and even props — can sprint like centres, and wings can maul like locks, you’re left thinking there are 30 players on each side. Can too much talent stifle the game?
Scotland–Wales will be the game of the Six Nations’ opening weekend. No one managed to flash the kind of ball skills that the Rugby League World Cup showcased, but Shane Williams came closest, and don’t forget their fabulous new discovery Lee Halfpenny. The young Scotland side showed a strong scrum (stronger than England’s) and good running too against the All Blacks, and should be a threatening addition to England’s group in the 2011 World Cup.
Perhaps Johnson should skip the Christmas DVDs and chew over his problems with another fearsome but fallen leader who for years inspired terror in the hearts of those who stood in his way — and even his own troops. Last seen in the shadows, disguised behind a thick, greying beard, and wearing a long black coat, that familiar wild-eyed stare still burning with flame... No, not Saddam. I mean Roy Keane.
Roger Alton is editor of the Independent.
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