6 JANUARY 1990, Page 26

Gutting the ABC

After years of corporate mismanagement it's over, box-office slumping to a few Maltesers melting from hand to mouth. The whole façade is down. I stand where the screen used to be, adding a soundtrack to events as I see them the earth-movers ripping out seats.

My backside would numb just waiting for the feature: globs of swirling colour were accompanied by Easy Listening Hits. Then Pearl and Dean.

Is memory doomed to be disembowelled when I'm old, hard of hearing and with failing sight, or will a colossal bottle of Gordon's still pour its juniper cascade and a voice-over sell me a carpet whose gash pattern you wouldn't believe?

Paul Munden