YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED
Dear Mary.. .
Q. After my divorce about a year ago, I moved to a provincial city with the idea of making a fresh start. After experiencing ini- tial social difficulties, I have recently gained entrée to a pleasant circle of a decent sort, the main hub of which consists of a large family with an assortment of children from both current and previous relationships, together with a large number of acquain- tances. Recently, I was fortunate enough to be invited to join the family for a weekend in their rather large country cottage. They like to 'rough it' on these occasions — log fires, no central heating, etc. — although a Bosnian refugee was retained to take over the more menial chores. However, there is no shower and only one bathroom. On Sat- urday evening, after a hearty country walk, I asked politely if there would be sufficient hot water for a bath and was duly reassured on that matter. Later, I was surprised in the midst of my ablutions by a loud rap on the door and a call from my host requesting that I leave the water in the bath when fin ished. This water was subsequently used (separately) by himself, my hostess, and two of their children. I find it distasteful to re- enter even my own bath-water, and I am at a loss how to handle this matter on future occasions, as I cannot possibly exert droit de seigneur on every weekend visit.
KR of Glasgow A. I quite understand your dilemma. While jet-hose-strength shower-heads decisively dislodge all detritus on American bodies, we Britons find nothing odd in our national custom of sitting in a mess of dead cells and waste particles, later patting this mess into the body with towelling. The chief purpose of a British bath is to give relaxation and warmth. Nevertheless, though it is quite a tradition for family members to share the same mess of potage, the idea of those who are neither family nor romantic partners sharing it is slightly repulsive. I suggest that in future you run out your own water secretly, then fill up the bath again with new albeit not particularly hot water. Leave the cake of soap in the bath to give the impression of pre-usage, then invite your friends to come in. This will surely convince them that they must do something about the bath-water heating in general, if it is to be so temperamental, and it should not be long before the problem resolves itself. If, however, you are not first in the queue, you will simply have to forgo your bath and concentrate instead on tack- ling the usual 'trouble spots' in the washbasin.
Mary Killen
If you have a problem, write to Dear Mao', clo The Spectator, 56 Doughty Street, London WC1N 2LL.
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