Pop music
Where were you?
Marcus Berkmann
Ithink we are all agreed: it is the End Of An Era. Not a very long Era, of course, but a vivid one, and for five young women of varying talents, a fantastically lucrative one too. When we awoke on Saturday morning, there were still, officially, five Spice Girls. But the rumours were unstoppable and as the weekend progressed, and millions of small girls asked their parents what 'gas- troenteritis' was, the truth slowly emerged. By Sunday evening it had been confirmed that Lardy Spice would indeed be leaving the group, and that the remaining Spices would soldier on as a quartet. It may be that they make a great success of their new line-up, and churn out hit records for many years to come. But you will do well to find anyone over the age of nine who seriously believes so. Already showbiz lawyers with pudgy fingers are rubbing their hands together with glee. There is much money to be made. In their two-year career the girls — Lardy, Surly, Winsome, Ugly and North- ern — are each thought to have earned around £13 million, or after all the court cases have been settled, £8.75.
Meanwhile, a nation mourns. Nursery schools are solemn, dismal places. The man over the road from me who played Frank Sinatra non-stop at top volume for 18 hours last week as a mark of respect is now playing Wannabe' every hour on the hour. On This Morning on Monday, Judy was forced to wipe away a maternal tear. Where were you when you heard that Geri Halliwell had left the Spice Girls?
If she can ever truly be said to have left, that is. For whatever they do, wherever they go, whichever daytime cookery shows they end up presenting, the Spice Girls will always be the Spice Girls. Everyone accepts the transience of pop fame as part of the scenery. But virtually all pop stars forget just how hard it will be in the future to live down the pop fame that has waned. The Spices are as trapped by their future as they are by their past. The brand name is and always will be more powerful than any individual, or even five individuals put together. If journalists are already looking forward to the reunion tour in 20 years time — perhaps a little premature, as they haven't actually split up yet — that's because everyone does it sooner or later. Last week Debbie Harry and Chris Stein announced that after a couple of decades off they had decided to reform Blondie. Was anyone surprised? Only that it had taken them so long. Harry is 52 and a game old bird, while Stein, 49, looks like a twice- divorced literature professor. Having tried for years to live down their past, and failed, they have come to the conclusion that they may as well make some money out of it.
Even in the long run there is no escape. As Eurovision raged a few weeks ago, Bucks Fizz released a terrible new danced- up version of their 1981 winner 'Making Your Mind Up', in a doomed attempt to cash in. The group retains just one original member, Mike Nolan; the numbers are made up by David van Day, once of Dollar, and two very young blonde girls. At around 'Taking up woodwork hasn't really helped Harold's depression.' the same time I was watching some non- sense on Channel 5 in which Suggs (once of Madness, and forever of them too) introduced Bucks Fizz and their Devi danced-up version of 'Making Your Mind Up'. On pranced four completely different people, including another original member, Bobby Gee. Their version was awful too. But where was the dignity in this? (And why was I watching Channel 5?) I would say that we will be hearing more of Geri Halliwell — if it weren't obvious that we will in fact be hearing of nothing else for the next five years. In the meantime the other four must adapt to life without her. No more arguments about which one Is going to stand in the middle, then . . .
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