Doubleplusgood Duckspeak

SPECTATOR COMPETITION No. 270 Report by R. Kennard Davis SPECTATOR COMPETITION No. 270 Report by R. Kennard Davis

The usual prize was offered for an extract from a leading article in Newspeak on the retirement of Big Brother.

'Tun leading articles in The Times,' George Orwell tells us, 'were written in it [New- speak], but this was a tour de force which could only be carried out by a specialist.' How right he was! The number of entries revealed that specialists in the official language of Oceania are as ye.* few; the standard reached was, in the circumstances, commendably high.

In judging the entries, I found myself in something of a quandary. Strictly speaking. the prize should go to the competitor who approached nearest to the ideal of duck- speak, i.e., 'making articulate speech issue from the larynx without involving the higher brain centres at all.' In practice, I found it impossible not to attach some value to the meaning expressed. After all, this is supposed to be a literary compe- tition ! I can only refer to the great principle of doublethink to justify my in- consistency.

The general laws of Newspeak, as laid down by Orwell, admit of some latitude of interpretation, and I have given competi- tors the benefit of the doubt wherever possible.

I recommend that the prize be divided between Marianne Rover (who came near- est, I think, to true Duckspeak), Leslie Johnson and Kenneth S. Kitchin. Com- mended are H. A. C. Evans, the Rev. J. P. Stevenson, and N. H. Phillips (aged 13).

PRIZES

(MARIANNE ROVER) Big Brother goed only after he had 100 per cent. doed his duty. He had maked Oceanians the doubleplusgoodest mans in the world.

He smashed oldthinkidle,' and gived us greatest output. He smashed crimesex, and gived us birthquota. He smashed think,' and gived us reflects.'

Tclescreenspynet and thinkgraphcheck arc now unneedful. Every day hatedrill is unneed- ful. Oceanians always hate. The enemy knows that Oceanians always hate. Oceanians march, hate, kill, MARCH, HATE, KILL, MARCH, HATE, KILL. .- .

Oceanians will always be doubleplusthank- ful to Big Brother, fbr BIG BROTHER MAKED COMRADES BIGBROTHER- WISE.'

" The words 'Leisure' and 'Mind' (noun only) have been abolished. 3 Reflex actions. New- speak version of 'God created man in his image.'

(LESLIE JOHNSON) Postcheering the unstringing of certain un- goodthinkful mans who were selfwise out- mapping ownlives and planning branchful courses of maldirected ways, we firstwise hail GOOD UNCLE in doubleplain blackwhite.

On another page we ink write a Great Vic- tory Wordshape in which we forgember what he has done to bring this new happy life to Oceania. All readers will heartlearn this until they can duckspeak it fullwise with unopen eyes, at the same time remetting all that they have been pretelled.

This wonderful G-U Day is both a thinkday and a thankday. We think how we have been outtalked from the unlight times of slavery to law and freedom, and for this we thank Good Uncle, mindful of the prespeak of the early Ingsoc Shakespeare, who penwrited that this Air'strip never did nor ever will lie under pride- ful foot of winful foe.

We must unhear talk of an unperson. The Enemy of the People. . . .

(KENNETH S. KITCHIN)

(The Times, April 5, 1985)

All mans doubleplus-bellyfeel at B.B. yesterday alltime offscreened. Victory think- guide, longtime watching us, gave us all we have. He saved us from oldthink, oldspeak and old-do. Through thinkpol, speakpol and dopol, he gooded us. Ingsoc and Oceania bellygoodfeel unhatwise for our doubleplus- duckspeaker now tele-ofled, but tearthinkers will not be fearthinkers; we are still being watched.

To-day UNCLE TONY welcomes us. Good- look ful, long-watched by BIG BROTHER, UNCLE TONY is a longtime plusgood prole- feeder and joycamp-commandant; this unold, goodthinkful victory-builder, this extra- doubleplus newspeak tluckspeaker, is now our lillscreen, ffilthink 'and fillbelly. All will lift their glasses of vie-gin as KIND UNCLE is seen good-focussc in our prefabs.

KIND UNCLE is watching us I COMMENDED

(H. A. C. EVANS)

Minitrue reports Big Brother, our treble- plusgoodest Poleader, has leaved publife. This is biggest polevent since worldmake. All belly- feelwise goodthinkful mans will be unpleased by news but doublethink will' make them unthink ungood thinks, Big Brother maked Ingsoc. Big Brother is Ingsoc. Big Brother and Ingsoc maked Oceania doubleplusgood State. Big Brother leaded Minipol in all. He lighted Oceania polfoes and pubfoes. He keeped all polthings in goodest way. But Big Brother always chinked about YOU. Always he watched you. He knowed all. He maked anti- persons unpersons. He loved all goodthinkful prostate mans. He hated crimethink and crimesex. He loved goodsexful and gooddoful persons and maked their lifes plusgood. Now Big Brother's polwork.,pnd socwork is fullwise doed and Big Brother knows his polstate and socstate will last to worldend. All goodthinkful Mans thank Big Brother and wellwish him. We will fullwise upkeep polstate he maked.