FASHIONS IN CHILDREN.
" I:RAVE never really oared for the very good ones," said
a woman who had been for many years at the head of a well-known girls' school. The present writer, to whom the confession was made, saw in it a sign of the times. By "very good" the speaker meant tame, " wise-like " children, the sort of children who are not the fashion just now, for there are fashions in children just as there are fashions in character and fashions even in faces. Nowadays it is required of children that they should be "natural." By which we do not mean that they should all act in accordance with their own individual nature, but in accordance with the kind of nature most approved at the present moment. Ideals of beauty, both moral and physical, shift a little. Not so very long ago strongly marked features were greatly admired even in women. The beauty of Jewesses was extolled. Nowadays it is not so. On the other hand, marked characters are greatly admired even in extreme youth E Strong predilections, definite purpose, the temperament which does not easily yield, is exalted to-day. Receptiveness is at a discount We want the character calculated to make an impression, not the character formed to receive one. Past fashions, however, linger in stereotyped phrasea. We still call the receptive child "very good."
Normal parents set their hearts upon their children, and they look for in them, cultivate in them, imagine in them, and sometimes even insist that their children should affect, those qualities which are at the moment considered to be pre-eminently desirable. Courage, frankness, cheerfulness, and a strong will are now the fashionable virtues, and the defects which often accompany these mental features are regarded as endearing, negligible, or unavoidable, according to the degree of affection entertained by the critic for the child. Courage, high spirits, and will-power often make children rather "difficult." Delight in these qualities would seem at first sight to be a new and beautiful exhibition of unselfish parental affection, for wilfulness is inconvenient, and requires patience and self-suppression in parents and guardians. Other causes, however, are at work to make these qualities popular. Parents were just as affectionate as they are now when a different type of child came to the front. The qualities which are the most serviceable are fostered in each generation. Ambition is in the air : the race begins early, so far as boys are concerned; and a girl, unless she is to risk the insignificanee which so often means failure, must be able to hold her own. It is obviously impossible that all the girls of the middle and upper middle classes should marry—there are not men enough to go round. It is at the same time widely believed, and it is roughly speaking true, that a woman who has neither a husband nor a profession is unhappy. Her success in any sphere depends, so far as it depends upon anything but chance and looks and talent, upon her significance, and there is no doubt that what our schoolmistress meant by "very good" little girls tend to grow up insignificant. They make no impression at all at first sight, and are consequently overlooked.
We are always being told with a sigh that "boys have their way to make," and the saying was never so true as it is now. It is often pointed out as a misfortune to the poor that childhood is shortened for them by the necessity for work. Among the poor, quite little boys are "wage-earners": often they earn something before they leave school. In our class we contentedly say this is not so. But is this quite the case ? How many preparatory-school masters know that their success in life depends upon the number of boys whom they can prepare between nine and thirteen to be self-supporting—by means of scholarships ? Of course, there are not a great number of scholarships to be had, but "they that run a race run all," and it is energy, determination, resource, ability to answer to the spur of emulation far more often than born bookishness which receives the prize. Parents, schoolmasters, and admirals, not to speak of high-school mistresses, all work together to force forward these traits. Of course, the rich—as a class—and the great—as a class—do not want their sons to earn their school fees, but they want them to succeed in that department of education which requires much the same qualities—organized games.
A somewhat sad generation tends to exaggerate the gift of high spirits. The obviously thoughtful child is out of date. Half the literature produced for children is intended solely to cultivate mirth. Letterpress and illustrations alike are designed for nothing else, so greatly do we grown-up people enjoy the sight of merriment. The gayest children are the best liked. Children quickly realize what is expected of them, and recognize, perhaps unconsciously, that overflowing mirth is a cause of approbation and will cover a multitude of failings. Again, this is the age of nonsense. It is a sign perhaps that the public brain is overwrought, but we even like our moralists to do up their wares in a nonsensical form. Ie rests the mind of the calculating parent to encourage the natural inconsequence of children. Children, too, are forced to work, and nonsense is a natural expression of mental reaction. Anyhow, a torrent of nonsense which was regarded as an intolerable bore and vigorously snubbed is now welcomed with a smile, encouraged, and constantly sifted by thoughtful listeners with a view to finding, what is not infrequently to be found in this outpouring of lively rubbish, a few glittering and shining fragments of philosophy of a profundity hardly to be accounted for. It is as a rule the child who talks the most nonsense who says the things best worth hearing. We do not mean the funniest things. Only few children are humorous in any true sense, and those that are are quiet children and stand in the background among the " very good" who are not so much made of.
Frankness, in so far as it is opposed to deceit, is a cardinal virtue, but the frankness which is regarded as so attractive to-day is not merely the opposite of deceit ; it is that absolute want of reserve which is supposed to prove a courageous nature and a kind home. It is very sad to see a child afraid of its parents, a sight full of menace to them if they only knew it; but there is a frankness which strikes old-fashioned people as a little un-English, especially where religious matters are concerned. The Americans began the fashion for innocent profanity, and though we are not among those unconsciously irreverent persons who imagine that the tongues of infants can offend the ears of the Almighty, we do think it is a pity to offend the ears of the graver grown-up people. That the children of to-day sometimes give pain by their frankness is true. Have we not all winced at times ? But the camaraderie of the child at present in fashion is a great set-off to this easily exaggerated disadvantage.
The very essence of fashion is that it should change, and the very essence of human nature is that it does not. There have always been plenty of children like those whom we delight in to-day, and there are still plenty of those whom our fathers delighted in yesterday. The little girl who is seen and not heard still lives, still dreams, still walks among fancies. She will be the fashion again when suffragettes have ceased to be either heard or seen. There is a great deal to be said for the reserved child, even if some timidity enters into his or her composition. There is a sympathy which is the gift of the receptive nature, the treasure of the 'every good " child. It does not go with great strength of will, nor with very high spirits, nor with strong passions, nor with the dis- position called "interesting." The sensible children to whom comicality is a bore, shyness a pain, extreme high spirits an impossibility, and sympathy a. reality exist in as great numbers as ever. They have had a long day. It is over, but they will have another.
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