THE SHORT Cur
'You know old Jack's wife? Well, she used to be even fatter than she is now. They lived over the hill then and to get to the bus they either had to walk a mile an' a quarter or cut across a footpath. Well, some work was done on the footpath an' they put the last word in luxury on it, a swinging gate with a barrier. You gets in it an' sidles past the gate an' passes through, if you're not too fat, like. Jack's missus was to meet him at the bus, but she didn't come. Jack went round by the road. She wasn't at home. He was havin' his tea when it struck him she might be stuck in this new stile affair, an' she was! Jack did a bit of bendin' to get her out. Said he'd com- plain to the council, but he never did. His missus didn't want to be showed up. I knew all about it because I helped old Jack straighten the thing. "What done it, Jack?" I kep' askin' him. "A bullock or somethin'?" but he didn't see the funny side of it at all. Nor did his missus.'
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