High life
Little gems
Taki
Gstaad This small Swiss village, the jewel of the Bernese Oberland and Mecca of the rich, is being torn apart by feuding merchants peddling their goods to an ever-decreasing group of terrorised consumers. Jewels, paintings and antiques being the commodities which enable one to tell the people apart here — as everyone has fleets of Rolls-Royces and Range-Rovers, fur coats and English servants — the competition among salesmen is reaching new lows by the hour. In fact it is becoming self-defeating as salesmen outnumber customers by three to one. Needless to say, the only Swiss one sees are the occasional cows and even they seem to be bored by the whole scene.
Due to strict zoning the village retains its charm although the predatory salesmen have taken up all available space. Antique furniture dealers are the most popular as they can put up prospective clients inside Louis XV chests. On New Year's Eve an unscrupulous salesman actually locked an Arab inside the latter's sauna until the oilrich fellow agreed to buy a diamond of questionable quality. The salesman, overjoyed with his accomplishment, then decided to be nice. He beat the Arab with some freshcut branches and rolled him in the snow. The Arab, unaware of the Finnish sauna ritual, begged for mercy and bought two more precious beads.
In the old days, before status symbols became a raison d'être, one could escape by skiing. Salesmen lounged around the Palace Hotel waiting for apres-skiers to relax. Today things have changed. Most of the new rich do not come to Gstaad for exercise, but even if they do ski, athletic, hawkeyed dealers catch them and blind them with diamonds on the slopes.
The greatest exponents of the hard sell are two brothers who deal in paintings. They enjoy an unfair advantage of sorts because they are polyglots. Being of Lebanese origin and of the Jewish faith, they speak Yiddish or Arabic as required by the. situation. Their seismographic alertness to anyone rich is legendary and jealous competitors accuse them of unscrupulous practices. 'They have turned people into praisejunkies through excessive grovelling,' was the way one rival put it. Another dealer who is an intellectual, a cynic and a wit said that 'their professional integrity guarantees the authenticity of their product.'
Turning false humility into an asset seems to be the best method of hooking clients. The violence only comes in as a last resort. Snobbery is also a useful method. During the Christmas and New Year festivities the focal point of Gstaad is the Palace Hotel. BY reserving good tables at the hotel's nightclub, the `Greengo,' a salesman can corner the market. Van Cleef and Arpels were the first to do so. The Van Cleef salesman is a man of great compassion. He only invited the aged and the obese. In spite of his compassion he got his point across. People who used to avoid him like the plague suddenly saw him as manna from heaven.
Not to be outdone another jeweller, Gerrard, took over the Maxim's room of the Palace and threw a champagne party to end all parties. People forgot Van Cleef and loved only Gerrard. Mr Gerrard used to work for Van Cleef but is now considered his peer. In the middle of the party, however, something terrible happened. Gerrard injured his back while making a deep bow in front of a Greek shipowner's wife. But he urged his guests to continue to make merry while he was carried out on a platter.
The Harry Winston salesman, needless to say, was not going to take this sitting down. A man who would have been considered handsome during the silent film period because of his greasy hair and oily looks, he concentrated on prospective clients' wives. He is devoted to his work and his devotion pays off. But his excessive zeal to please client's wife got him a black eye and seven stitches from the husband. In spite of the zeal and the stitches Winston jewels are of such quality, however, that even the salesman's foolish tactics cannot besmirch the Winston reputation.
The height of the Alpine season is in Feb' ruary, and salesmen are already preparing themselves for an all-out effort. One of th.e greediest got a nasty surprise when in hit haste to sell his product he actually tried aC Englishman. It was an English baronet ill fact. The dealer took some photographs d the young baronet whipping his girlfriend, whom he had tied to a bed post. When the dealer showed him the negatives and hinted an exchange for his product the baronet who is not reputed to be smart — con' gratulated him on his photographic ability, thanked him for his trouble and advised hinl, which pictures he would like developed an° enlarged. The furious salesman, unable t° stand it, punished the baronet by burning the negatives. He has now decided to con' centrate on American diplomats.
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