"Spectator" Competitions

RULES AND CONDITIONS

Entries must he typed or very clearly written on one side of the paper only. The name and address, or pseudonym, of the competitor must be on each entry and not on a separate sheet.. When a word limit is set words must be counted and the number given. No entries can be returned. Prizes may be divided at the re disction of the judge, or withheld if no entry reaches the required standard. The judge reserves the right to print or quote from any entry. The judge's decision isfinal, and no correspondence can be entered into on the subject of the award. Entries must be addressed to :—Tho Editor, the Spectator, 99 Cower Street, London, W.C. 1, and be marked on the envelope Competition No. (--).

Competition No. 56 (SET BY "DUGLL") A PRIZE of £2 2s. is offered for a Gardener's Rhyming Alphabet. Competitors are ri;minded that the best rhyming alphabets are the 'simplest : " for example, " A

was an Archer who shot at 'a frog . " '

Entries must be received not later than Monday, May 9th, 1932. The result of this eornpetition will appear in our issue of May 21st,

• • • 'Competition No. 57 (SET BY " CARD.") IT is supposed that Mr. Epstein has been honoured with MembexXhip of the Royal Academy. A 'prize of £2 25, is. offered, for the best poem, of not more than 25 lines, commemorating the event.

Entries must be received not later than Monday, May 16th. 1932. Tho result of this competition appear in our issue of May 28th, 1932.

, The result of Competition No. 5:5 will appear in our

next. LSSUe. • •

Limerick Competition No. 27

A PRIZE of £1 ls. is offered each week for a new and original English Limerick verse on some subject dealt with in the current number of the Spectator. The twenty-seventh of these competitions closes on Monday, May 16th; 1932. Entries should be marked " Limerick No. 27."

The result of the twenty-fifth of these competitions will be announced in our next issue.

[It is requested that, to facilitate the work of the judges, entries should, when possible,. be submitted on postcards.]

Result of Limerick Competition No. 24

THE most popular subjects for Limericks this week were " Rus in Urbe " (L. A. G. Strong), " Farmer Poets " (Sir William Beach Thomas), "Fiction and Its Headers" (Arthur Waugh), " An Indian Comedy " (Evelyn Waugh), -" The Newgate Calendar " (Graham Greene), and " The Teacher in Modem Life " (J. L. Hammond). The entries of John White, William Olney and Raymond Haines are commended. The prize is awarded to W. Hodgson Burnet, Salisbury Tower, Windsor Castle.

THE WINNING ENTRY. FARMER POETS (page 555).

It is all to the good that our cows on The whole ignore Bridges' pow-wows ore The things they devour,

For their milk would turn sour If they tackled what he thinks they browse On.

Report of Competition No. 54 (REPORT AND AWARD BY " Du'ou.”) IT has been suggested that the language of Shakespeare may have to be translated into modern English if it is to be under- stood by the young theatregoers of the present day. A prize of £2 2s. was offered for a rendering in modern stage dialogue of Act II, Scene 2 of Romeo and Jultet. Long speeches are out of fashion on the stage to-day, and the whole scene was to be cut to not more than 1,000 words, including stage directions.

It is rather shocking to think of Spectator competitors re- writing Shakespeare in the octave of the Stratford celebra- tions ! They have been quite unabashed, however, and some of them have even gone beyond " modern English " and have made their translations in broad Hollywoodese.

Miss E. G. Owen has had the happy idea of re-writing the scene as J. M. B. might have written it, and her Barriesque stage directions are delightful. But her rendering is too far from the original. o- be counted a translation, and is Highly from With-Miss M. Chishohn and "Halj."

The prize of £2 2s. is awarded to ST. Hodgson Burnet, Salisbury Tower, Windsor Castle.

THE PRIZE SCENE.

ROMEO AND JULIET Ut' TO DATE.

Act. II, SCENE 2.

[Scene : The Capulets' %Mee. Ewer Romeo.' ROMEO : Hullo ! What a hit of lurk ! There's Julio at los window! And to think the darling doesn't know how 1 lute her! By Jove, she's speaking 1

JULIET : Oh how I wish -

ROMEO Theio she goes again ! Cad ! Doesn't she look top• ping in that dressing gown ? - JULlET : How I wish You hadn't got that rotten surname of

yours -

Romeo (doubtfully): I say, I wonder if its quito playing I game to listen in like this Or should I butt in ? JULIET It's that horrid name Montague I lotto. I simply ewe t be Airs. Montague. Now if only you were a Smith or a Robinson or something decent I would say Yes" at once. ROMEO (aloud) : I'll buy that Julie, dear! Say you love and you can call me by any old name you. like"! JULIET (peering out of the window): Who's that ? What is your name, you—you eavesdropper ? ROMEO (gaily) : My name, dear lady, is the one you've just said you hate, so naturally 1 hate it myself ! JULIET R.. Montague, Esquire, or I'm a Dutchwoman! I'm —! How- did you get here, sir ? Pretty risky, isn' t , it my people find you ? ROMEO Who cares if they do ? As to how I got here, I •juSt scaled a jolly old wall like these chaps in the films. Jur.n4:v : But they'll murder you!

R07■1E0 Let 'cm all come !

JULIET But tell me, how did you find me ? ROMEO: Oh, love showed the way and all that sort of ihing. you know. JULIET : You make me positively blush, you bold man ! Do you really love me, Romeo ? Say you do and that you don't think Me a brazen hussy fOr saying what you overheard.

R031E0 : I swear —.

JULIET: No, don't swear. You're much too fond of swearing. Just say it and IT believe you. But I do think you were rash to come. You must go now, dear. Good-night and pleasant dreams.

ROMEO : Oh, don't go yet ! I want —

JULIET 1 must go. What do you want ?

Roam, : 1 want you to say that you love Me and thal. you Il be mind for ever.

Jut.= : Of course I love you. You know that, darling. (Maid tulle within.) Sh There's someone calling me. Good-eight, (Over her shoulder :) All right., I'm coming! (To Romeo :) Don't go yet. I'll be back in a minute. tErit.1

(Re-enter Juliet.'

JULIET Just one word more, R011100 dear, and then really good-night. If you still. mean what you say, lot me know by someone whom I will send to you to-morrow when and where we can get married, and I will be yours " for keeps " so you would vulgarly put it.

MAID Miss Julio ! Miss Julie!

JULIET Corning ! (To Romeo :) But if yen want 1.11 Imck oat -

MAID : Miss Julie !

JULIET : Oh, all right. (To Romeo :) Theo for booxon's sake say so and be done with it. Rohm° : Why, of course - JULIET: I simply must go; Goodmigld. [Re-enter .Julie!. JULIET I say, Romeo ! [E.c;i •

J

ROMEO : Yes, old thing ? JULIET: I forgot to ask you. Whet time shall 1 send 6, you

to-morrow ? ROMEO : Shall we say nine-ish ?

JULIET Rights:h. Let mo see, forgotten what I was going to say when I called you back.- ROMEO: Good egg ! Then I can stay till you remember. • Jumrr But I shall go on forgetting while remember you're still there. Roane: And I shall do my boot to forget to remind you so that you can go on forgetting. JULIET Don't be silly. You must go. It's nearly morning. All the same, I wish you were a bird tied to a string so that 1 could pull you back again ! ROMEO I guess I'd be a good bird, Julio ! Wouldn't require much pulling. what 1 • JumEr : Well, this really must he good-night this time. I mean it. ROMEO : All right. Goodnight, darling. I'm off straight away to see- the parson about hitching us up. Cheerio! See you to-morrow. [Weave hie hand and—exll.1