YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED
Dear Mary. . .
Q. My husband and I are Australian but have lived in London on and off for some years. I was rather taken aback by a remark made to me at a drinks party the other night and wondered what you would have said, Mary, had it been directed at you. Our host had ushered us into a group who were dis- cussing the recent Christie's sale at Clifton Hampden. One of these people, a rather shrielry woman whom we have met a couple of times before, asked if we had attended the sale. I said no, not the sale, but that Chrissie had invited us to his party at the house on the Friday night and we had had the opportunity to admire everything then. She stood back to do a double-take as though we were human objects whose point could only be apparent to an exquisitely dis- cerning eye. 'You went to the party?' she asked incredulously. 'But how do you know Christopher Gibbs?' What would you have replied to this impertinent remark, Mary?
B.H., London SW1 4. The correct response would have been to ask in kindly tones, 'Why? Would you like to be friends with him?'
Q. My live-in nanny informs me that she is shortly to have an operation to remove a bunion and will need to spend three weeks with her feet up afterwards. She told me Cosily, 'My doctor asked if I could afford to take the time off and whether I had some- one who would look after me and bring me trays of food and cups of tea, and I said, "Oh yes, I know my employer will keep me on full pay and be happy to nurse me." ' It is true that she is a valued employee, but how can I prevent resentment setting in as I tackle 20 hours per week of extra childcare all on my own?
A.P., London SW3 A. Your nanny's hands will still be available for working, even if her legs are not. So nip into Ehrman on Kensington High Street and buy the necessary kit, printed canvas and wool, etcetera, for some tapestry cush- ions. Set her some bedwork to do in the time that she would normally be working for you. No doubt she will quickly become absorbed in this satisfying craft and you will be able to claw back value in real terms to over and above her Pyrrhic wage packet. Q. For various reasons, but primarily because I work in PR, I now have far too many friends. My problem is that I have been offered, for free, a fabulous venue in which to have a party. A caterer I know has said she is prepared to do all the food and drink at cost in exchange for the publicity that my party — which will teem with celebrities — will generate. However, I can invite only 300 people. This means that hundreds• of others are going to read about the party and be offended that I did not invite them. As I work in PR, I cannot afford to alienate hundreds of people, nor can I bear to pass up the chance of enter- taining hundreds of others for a fraction of what it should cost. How can I possibly solve this tantalising dilemma, Mary?
Name and address withheld A. Collude with a gossip columnist to men- tion in his report on your brilliant party that you had been puzzled by the non- attendance of so many of your dearest friends. The mystery was cleared up, how- ever, when one guest observed that you had made the silly mistake of attaching a free promotional Biro to each reply card sent with your invitations. This meant that at least 30 per cent of them were chucked unopened into the bin as people, feeling the familiar outline, assumed they were begging letters from charities.
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