The Battle
(with apologies to Lewis Carroll) Peggy-top and Teddy-bear Agreed to have a battle; For Peggy-top said Teddy-bear Had spoilt her Tory rattle.
The ethics of the grocer She said he had betrayed, And given them short measure In goods that he displayed.
He said that girls were silly; He'd never marry one.
The rattle rattled better, Because of what he'd done.
They both of them donned armour Of paper, bill and vote; She wore a shining head-piece, And he a common coat.
They hit out at each other With sharp and bitter speech, But hid behind their followers To keep well out of reach.
The umpire was a white-haired lord, Who wore a tartan trew.
He carried a big book of rules To tell him what to do.
The Huyton bird, with baggy eyes, Flew down and crowed with glee. The heroes cried "contrariwise!" And then they stopped for tea.
While munching scones, the White Lord sighed; "You've fought with might and main; But yet I think the rules provide That you must fight again." Basil Charles
Previous page
