Q. For some years before my retirement, I worked with
a male colleague who, for as long as I had known him, was quite bald. He is now in his late fifties and, I’m told, is sporting a very obvious hair transplant. As I believe we’ll meet at a mutual friend’s house during the Christmas season, I’m at a loss to know how to react to his changed appearance. Does one congratulate him on his new ‘look’ or affect not to notice the transformation?
M.H., Berry, NSW, Australia As a general rule it is best to avoid commenting on personal appearances — there has been too much flattery and the currency has been devalued. Yet in this special situation you will have to use a one-off dose of insincerity. It will be important to reassure the transplantee that you have no intention of mocking him. Therefore on greeting him just cry out, ‘Oh, you are looking terribly well! Your lifestyle seems to be suiting you!’ Since hair transplants are often marketed as ‘naturallooking’ and transplantees are self-deluders by nature, your former colleague will feel that the transformation has had the desired effect and that you seem not to have noticed the artifice.
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