Pre-marital sex new social attitudes
Michael Schofield
One of the difficulties in any discussion about sexual morality is that any static code of behaviour will soon be outdated. We live in a state of transition and this situation of instability is going to continue for a long time.
There have already been vast changes in the last few years. As children reach puberty at an earlier age and extra schooling postpones the age of financial independence, attitudes to premarital sexual intercourse have changed, especially since ,contraceptives are more effective and more readily available.
I am often asked if I think teenage sexual activities have changed since I completed the report of The Sexual Behaviour of Young People. My guess is that behaviour has changed only slightly, but there has been a marked change in attitudes. Seven years ago people had rather more sex than they said they had. Today teenagers have rather less sex than they say they have.
Recently I went back to re-interview some of the same people I had seen seven years ago to find out how they had progressed now that they were twenty-five. Many of these young adults have changed their opinions over the last few years. When they were teenagers a third (34 per cent) were in favour of sex before marriage. Seven years later 88 per cent approved of premarital intercourse. Most of these (59 per cent) gave unqualified approval, but some thought sex before marriage was only acceptable when the couple were really in love and intended to marry.
This is a tremendous change in attitude. It means that premarital sexual intercourse between two people who are in love is now accepted by the vast majority in this age group, and it is the few who think it is wrong or sinful who are the exception.. How far has this change of views affected behaviour? Attitudes certainly do influence activities, but not always immediately. Quite often there is: a considerable period between the time when a person changes his mind and when he changes his ways. In this sample of young adults, 72 per cent had premarital sexual intercourse, 21 per cent waited until they were married and 7 per cent had no sexual experience. The conclusion must be that sexual intercourse before marriage is quite common and acceptable among young people, although it does not appear to start quite as early as some people think or fear. When these young people do seek sexual experience, in the majority of cases it is with someone they know very well, and often with someone they love and will marry.
This raises two social problems that have received very little attention. The first is the almost inevitable gap between the age of first intercourse and the age when contraceptives are used for the first time. The second is the danger of forcing young people into important commitments before they are ready.
, In theory it should now be possible to avoid unwanted premarital pregnancies. Sensible sex education, better methods of contraception, easier and safer abortions have all combined to make it technically possible to avoid unplanned pregnancies in most situations. And yet it is still the case that two out of three girls marrying under the age of twenty are pregnant on their wedding day and 22 per cent of all births to mothers under twenty are illegitimate.
My researches have shown that the first experiences of sexual intercourse are nearly always fur tive, uncomfortable and unpremeditated. This means that few girls are likely to take any precautions before their first experience. In fact family planning clinics report that nearly all their clients are sexually experienced before they come to the clinic. This may be the clinic's answer to the accusation that they are encouraging sexual laxity, but it does also mean that many younger girls are taking risks at a time when an unwanted pregnancy would have most unfortunate consequences. On the other hand any attempt to prepare these girls before their first experience is likely to be misconstrued.
Here is an awkward dilemma for the clinics and the Government (when they take over family planning in April). Obviously the authorities and the general public are going to look askance at any suggestion that appears to be encouraging premarital sexual inter
course. But if the real concern is to prevent the individual misery and the social cost caused by unplanned pregnancies in young girls, then the aim of the clinics should be to close this gap between premarital sexual intercourse and the first use of contraceptive precautions. If the gap is to be closed completely, then the girls should visit the clinic before their first experience, not afterwards.
The other social problem is less obvious but just as pressing. It is not just the young who now accept premarital sexual intercourse. Older adults, including some people in authority, have let it be known that it is sometimes all right to have sex with the person you intend to marry. Changed economic conditions, especially the scarcity and high cost of housing, have forced many people to delay their wedding day. In such cases it seems sensible to many people, including some parents, that two people who are in love and intend to get married should sleep together. Unfortunately this not unreasonable attitude , brings the danger of young people being pushed into binding commitments before they can cope with them.
The results of my research indicates that a surprisingly large number drift into marriage, almost by default; they do not choose their marriage partner; no other option seems to be open to them. The boy and girl start meeting when they are young teenagers and after a long courtship they marry without really getting to know any others of the same age. It happens sometimes even though it has become clear through the months and years that they do not really get on very well together. Nevertheless the engagement continues on into marriage because the boy or girl or both do not know how to bring the association to an end, or because relations and friends assume that they will get married and increasingly put pressures on them not to disturb an established situation.
Probably this has always happened to some couples over the years, but now there is another factor which may have the effect of committing a person to a relationship that is unsuitable. This is the feeling, strongly held in some quarters, that premarital sexual intercourse is only permissible between people who intend to get married. The effect of this is that premarital intercourse confers an obligation on the two participants and limits their opportunities of finding a suitable marriage partner. Young people should be encouraged to meet a large number of other young people before being required to commit themselves. In some quarters premarital sexual intercourse is more binding than an engagement ring.
Michael Schofield, the social psychiatrist, is the author of The Sexual Behaviour of Young People and The Sexual Behaviour of Young Adults
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