7 FEBRUARY 2004

Page 6

PORTRAIT iiekrT'i ' T he government announced a committee of inquiry into

The Spectator

the accuracy of the intelligence on Iraqi weapons of mass destruction before the war last year; it will be chaired by Lord Butler of Brockwell, the former Cabinet Secretary; the...

Page 7

Right war. Wron

The Spectator

reason E very so often there is an event which confuses the usual prejudices of political folk. One such event was the rise of the Dutch politician Pim Fortuyn, who combined...

Page 8

DEBORAH DEVONSHIRE

The Spectator

Q ne of the perks of being a director of a hotel is visiting and eating at the competition. The idea is to taste, look and learn. On this mission, and on the instructions of our...

Page 10

There is a strong chance that the new inquiry will finish Mr Blair

The Spectator

BRUCE ANDERSON I am not an expert on the sleeping habits of adolescents. But I have consulted a number of authorities, viz parents. Their conclusions were unanimous. Cherie...

Page 11

Tim Questing Volt A n old and semi-apocryphal story lumbers in

The Spectator

to seek shelter from the bitter February cold. It concerns negotiations between Sir Peter Tapsell, the 74-year-old Conservative member for Louth and Homcastle, and his...

Page 12

How to lose the battle for Britain

The Spectator

Never in the field of human conflict has so much money been wasted by so many on so little, says Max Hastings N ow that Mr Geoff Hoon has put his Hutton embarrassments behind...

Page 14

Mind your language

The Spectator

I asked Veronica what the difference was between a pikey and a chav. 'A pikey is like a pram-face, really rubbish, eats economy burgers and oven chips and watches telly all day....

The death of the Establishment

The Spectator

Simon Heifer says that Lord Hutton does not understand the twisters and fixers who now run this country 1 f we have managed to carry this far into the 21st century an idea of...

Page 16

Chuckers make me sick

The Spectator

Rachel Johnson names the people who never turn up to parties (and those who always do) I s it just me, or has there been a perceptible rise in social autism recently? Not just...

Page 17

Ancient & modern

The Spectator

How would the ancient Athenians have handled the Hutton inquiry? They would not have needed one, Real democracies get to the nub with indecent haste. In the first place, the...

Page 18

I am ready to serve

The Spectator

Jonathan Aitken reveals that he is seeking selection for his old seat, South Thanet NI oved. Amazed. Humbled. These were my emotions when earlier this week I was handed a copy...

Page 20

Cigarette lady

The Spectator

Andrew Gimson talks to Lady Trumpington about the pleasures of passive smoking L ady Trumpington is on the warpath, At the age of 81, the author of the tremendous dictum 'I'd...

Page 21

Sex and violence begin at 12

The Spectator

Rod Liddle says that children in care are out of control and social workers can do nothing about it W hen they speak, it is with the lilting cadences of Jamaican street slang....

Page 22

Globophobia

The Spectator

A weekly survey of world restrictions on freedom and free trade The great food terror is upon us again. On Friday, 23 January the EU Commission banned all imports of chickens...

Page 23

Skull and Bones, the Porcellian and the Literary Society

The Spectator

PAUL JOHNSON B eneath the upper crust of AngloSaxon society lies the club system. It is not as important as its members think, or as sinister as excitable but ignorant...

Page 24

Here's my plan for a BBC that you would allow your wives and servants to watch

The Spectator

FRANK JOHNSON DA r Charles Moore, the former Daily Telegraph editor, denouncing the BBC in that paper last week in the light of the Hutton report, observed: 'It seems to me...

Page 25

Tripe

The Spectator

From Barbara Arnie! Black Sir: So much tripe about my husband and myself has been written lately that it seems selective to reply to Peter Oborne's column alone. But my...

Hutton fallout

The Spectator

From Judith Bell Sir: Mr Blair has graciously accepted apologies from the BBC for an erroneous report made by one of its journalists. Perhaps Mr Blair would now apologise to...

Gender bender

The Spectator

Sir: In his article 'Straight and narrow' (31 January) Leo McKinstry listed some outlandish examples of projects undertaken by the sexual discrimination industry. Perhaps I...

Page 26

Portrait of a President

The Spectator

From Richard Dean Sir: Philip Guston's retrospective exhibition at the Royal Academy certainly deserves all the nice things your critic says about it (Arts, 24 January), but he...

An inducement to learn

The Spectator

From Andrew Walters Sir: Freddie Sayers has missed two key differences between the UK and the US when it comes to expecting undergraduates to pay their own way through higher...

Funding Fiona

The Spectator

From Crawford Macdonald Sir: I won't be availing myself of Fiona Millar's invitation to send my children to join a war zone where a 'tough and inspiring head [is] determined to...

Smalls defence

The Spectator

From Mick James Sir: Dot Wordsworth recently referred to *shreddies' as a slang term for underpants. When I joined the RAF in 1959, the term was already in common usage. It...

Neologistic note

The Spectator

From Barry Cawdron Sir: Tom Livingstone inquires about the meaning of `hemiocentenary' (Letters, 31 January). My New English Dictionmy of March 1932 defines `Itemi' as a Greek...

Page 27

Why Andrew - Neil would make a

The Spectator

better editor than chief executive STEPHEN GLOVER A few weeks ago BBC television news announced that the Barclay brothers were the new owners of the Daily Telegraph. It has...

Page 28

An early search for WMD

The Spectator

Philip Ziegler DUEL IN THE SNOWS: THE TRUE STORY OF THE YOUNGHUSBAND MISSION TO LHASA by Charles Allen John Murray, £20, pp. 350, ISBN 0719554276 A ny author who subtitles his...

Page 29

High jinks and slaughter

The Spectator

D. J. Taylor THE LAST CROSSING by Guy Vanderhaeghe Little, Brown, £14.99, pp. 470, ISBN 0316726176 W hatever else may be said of Guy Vanderhaeghe, author of The English Boy, he...

A hymn to Hellenic culture

The Spectator

Ian Thomson BY THE IONIAN SEA by George Gissing Signal Books, L12.99, pp. 159, ISBN 1902669673, Tel: 01865 724 856 1 n the prosperous north of Italy, southerners are reckoned a...

Page 30

Charting a minefield

The Spectator

Antonia Fraser BROTHER AND SISTER by Joanna Trollope Bloomsbury, £16.99, pp. 320, ISBN 0747570434 T he title of Joanna Trollope's new novel — Brother and Sister — arouses...

Composing for dear life

The Spectator

Rupert Christiansen MEMORIES OF SHOSTAKOVICH: INTERVIEWS WITH THE COMPOSER'S CHILDREN by the Reverend Michael Ardov, translated by Rosanna Kelly and Michael Meylac Short Books,...

Page 31

Snapshots of the city

The Spectator

Humphrey Stone DUBLINERS by James Joyce, read by T. P. McKenna CSA Word, six CDs, 75 minutes each, £19.99, www. csaword.co.uk L ying stock-still with a bandage over your eyes...

Page 32

A love of God and the ballet

The Spectator

Frank Field STUART HEADLAM'S RADICAL ANGLICANISM by John Richard Orens University of Illinois Press, £22, pp. 184, ISBN 0252028244 T here was a time when the Catholic party of...

A heist too far

The Spectator

Peter J. M. Wayne THE ART OF ARMED ROBBERY by Terry Smith Blake, £16.99, pp. 319, ISBN 1904034993 WL en I fi rst met Terry Smith ten years ago, in the library of Long artin top...

Page 33

Fated and enchanted love

The Spectator

Michael Tanner DEATH-DEVOTED HEART: SEX AND THE SACRED IN WAGNER'S 'TRISTAN AND ISOLDE' by Roger Scruton OUP, .£17.99, pp. 238, ISBN 0195166914 W agner's masterpiece, Tristan,...

Page 34

A ghastly crew

The Spectator

Raymond Carr OVER THE EDGE OF THE WORLD: MAGELLAN'S TERRIFYING CIRCUMNAVIGATION OF THE GLOBE by Laurence Bergreen HarperCollins, £25, pp. 456, ISBN 0007118317 1 n September...

Page 35

'Use it or lose it'

The Spectator

Museums should not forget their primary role, says Tiffany Jenkins T he future of thousands of artefacts sitting in the basements of museums across the country is under threat....

Page 36

Master of atmosphere

The Spectator

Andrew Lambirth Vuillard: From Post-Impressionist to Modern Master Royal Academy, until 18 April T here has never been a major exhibition devoted to the work of Edouard...

Page 37

Current obsessions

The Spectator

Marcus Berkmann I love this time of year: the music industry has gone to sleep, and the rest of us can get going with the piles of CDs we were given for Christmas by obliging...

Page 38

Undisputed genius

The Spectator

Giannandrea Poesio Balanchine 100: A celebration Royal Opera House C entenary celebrations are always a good opportunity for taking the pulse of a choreographer's legacy. The...

Blooming marvellous

The Spectator

Ursula Buchan O n 7 March 1804, John Wedgwood, son of Josiah, and a rich banker, met six like-minded friends, including Sir Joseph Banks, at Hatchard's bookshop in Piccadilly....

Page 39

Merry banter

The Spectator

Lloyd Evans The Country Wife Courtyard Round the Horne Revisited The Venue Slave's Snowshow Hackney Empire A cting. A profession or a disease? The question occurred to me as I...

Page 40

Rhythmless comedy

The Spectator

Mark Steyn Something's Gotta Give 124, selected cinemas C omething's Gotta Give' was written by 0Johnny Mercer for Fred Astaire to sing to Leslie Caron in the film Daddy Long...

Page 41

Moments to treasure

The Spectator

Michael Tanner Die Walkiire Barbican Q ncert performances of operas or large arts of them are becoming ever more common, a good thing since staged performances, at any rate in...

Page 42

Scholar's dilemma

The Spectator

Peter Phillips I wonder what relationship you maintain with your old school (or is it Old School?). Was it the kind of place you are still proud to mention decades after you...

Page 43

Essential cutting

The Spectator

James Delingpole N ow that my insomnia has reached such epic proportions that sometimes I can lie there for a whole night without getting any sleep at all, I have become a lot...

Page 44

Playing to win

The Spectator

Michael Vestey S o,Alastair Campbell's obsession with Andrew Gilligan cost the government two Labour supporters at the top of the BBC: Greg Dyke and the chairman of the...

In love with London

The Spectator

Taki rro HMS Belfast, Europe's last big-gun armoured warship, anchored off Tooley Street, London. The occasion is a fund-raising dinner and a speech by yours truly for readers...

Page 45

I was there

The Spectator

Jeremy Clarke uring the Queen's speech last _L./Christmas Day the dazzlingly beautiful, inarticulate little girl who was acting as Father Christmas presented me with a parcel...

Page 46

Faking it

The Spectator

Petronella Wyatt T he other day some newspaper or another reported the actress Joely Richardson as turning up to promote her role in the TV series Nip /Tuck in a 'vintage'...

Page 48

Tie or open shirt?

The Spectator

Jaspistos In Competition No. 2326 you were invited to write a poem either in free verse mocking rhymed, metrical verse or in conventional verse mocking free verse. It's...

Page 55

Reptonian reptiles

The Spectator

MICHAEL HENDERSON 0 h, where are those snows of yesteryear? The Times ran a series of features last month in which they sought to identify the coming men and women in different...

Dear Mary

The Spectator

Q. I was brought up always to write thankyou letters for gifts [sic]. In recent years I have found that I am usually far too busy, especially as I would have to write them on...