YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED
Dear Mary. .
Q. I have a friend whose husband, though amiable, is unremarkable save for the fact that he was educated in France. Possibly because of this, he lakes care to introduce French words and phrases into any conver- sation and to pronounce them with their full complement of accents, garglings, etc. How can I explain, tactfully, that most peo- ple, nowadays, speak French just as well as he does and that to pronounce 'Marseilles' in the French manner when speaking to another English person is absurdly ostenta- tious?
CA., London NWS A. One cannot reasonably expect a man who has gargled a word since childhood to Pronounce it in the English manner. What one can expect, however, is for him to limit the number of French words, place names and expressions he uses in conversation (though the poor chap is probably just try- !ng to make himself seem more interest- ing). Perhaps you should deal with him by repeatedly interrupting his bursts of gargu- losny to request clarification of what he has just said. Wear a pleasant but genuinely enquiring expression on your face as you do so. Take in his explanations and then repeat them aloud in dogged fashion as though trying to memorise them: 'au grand serieux — in all seriousness — au grand serieux, au grand serieux. That's a good one!!' etc. Soon he will learn to think twice before Frenchifying his conversation in your company.
Q. I am currently involved in restoring an 18th-century house in Spitalfields and undertaking most of the building work myself. However, when making purchases in builder's merchants I find the staff's atti- tude tends to be most unhelpful when I ask for advice about building procedure. My `posh' accent obviously gets their backs up as they respond insolently with comments like 'How long is a piece of string?' How can I get my own back?
A.C., Spitalfields, London A. There are many publications dealing with restoration and 'period' building tech- niques. These bristle with arcane words and descriptions of building practices which have long fallen into disuse. Study an ancient table of weights and measures and demand, for example, 'a firkin of rabbit- skin size', 'a bushel of slaked lime' or a `peck of turpentine'. Demand to see the manager when no one understands you.
Mary Killen
If you have a problem, please write to Dear Mary', The Spectator, 56 Doughty Street, London, WC1N 2LL.
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