13 AUGUST 1887, Page 16


rTo TES EDITOR OF 'RR “EIPECTATOlt." J Sra,—Some weeks ago, I brought upon myself some expressions of wrath and strong disapproval from members of a certain Society to which in an evil hour I offered a word of warning. Who was I that I should presume to give advice to my betters,

and in insolent fashion disseminate covert reproaches upon the apostles of a new philosophy ? An upstart little Gallio girding at the Galileoe ! I dare not name that Society any more; but I cannot resist offering to anxious inquirers interested in such matters a veracious account of the last genuine dream-revela- tion which has come to my knowledge, and which I think deserves to be placed on record while the facts are young and easily tested.

Arcadia, as everybody knows, is an extensive province, and contains many cities. One of these is Baphagium, which you may easily find on the map. It is a city of much brightness and some splendour, and there the dicasts assemble periodically, as clicasts always have done. There, too, dwells Aristides, justeet of men. Last week, Policeman X— appeared before Aris- tides with the regulation salute,—" Please, your Honour, there's been a robbery at Mehetabel Bubb's. She had a stocking with £27 in it, and it's gone. Them tramps ha' got it !" Be it known that Buphagium is a terrible place for tramps ; they swarm there, they stream through the sunny streets in continual ebb and flow, and their fingers are light as their characters are said to be. Policeman X— was resolved to go for these tramps. Accordingly, a very searching inquiry was set on foot, and the police were on the alert, as the phrase is. Also, there was trepidation among the tramps, and Buphagiam was almost delivered from the nomads for a good two days and two nights. On the third morning, Policeman X— appeared once more before Aristides,—" Please, your Honour, we've got that money, stocking and all !" Aristides with dignity bowed his head, and gravely suggested,—" Where is the tramp, I mean the thief?" "Please, your Honour," said Policeman X—, "we've kind o' missed him !" Then said Aristides,—" How did you recover the money P" Policeman X. was deliberate in his reply ; he was more than sententious; he was very solemn, and very slow,—" Please, your Honour, that were all along of a dream ! Kezia Babb, she dreamt last night as plain as ever she could, how that there stocking and £27 Is. 9d. was buried in her mother's garden under a gooseberry-bush, and she couldn't lie—(I mean abed)—till she'd come and told me. And me and Policeman Y—, we went and we got a spade, and we dug ever so. And we came upon that stocking, and Mrs. Bubb don't want any piece of work made about it !"

Aristides smoothed his ample brow and asked,—" Pray, policeman, when you found the stocking, did you wink at all ?" "Me wink, Sir ?" said Policeman X—; "I never winks. I looked at Y—, and Y— looked at me ; but we was that grave, we neither of no smiled. Bat now I come to think of it, I believe I did laugh in my heart!" Surely this is a very singular dream, and one so recent and so well authenticated that it deserves to be put on record.—I am, Sir, dm,