14 JUNE 2008, Page 11

WEDNESDAY Bev from Labour phones with incredible news. She has

managed to get herself involved in the Miliband leadership campaign, the one that’s not happening, and says if we promise her a seat — ‘any seat, they’re all safe Tory seats now’ — she will feed us information! She has given me a taster in order to whet our appetite. Apparently they call Gordon the most unbelievably offensive names — details to follow if safe seat forthcoming. But that’s not the best of it. Get this — they hold secret leadership planning meetings at which they eat skinny muffins and drink smoothies! This is terrifying news. I simply hadn’t realised how serious the threat was. Am going to write an official memo to Gary, recommending that we sign up Bev immediately.