Doing It Yourself
The usual prize was offered for either a 'Do It Yourself calypso or a work song for 'Do It Your- self' husbands and wives.
If any conclusion is to be drawn from the quantity and the quality of the entries for this competition it is that neither household drudgery nor `do it yourself makes the same emotional impact on overseas readers as on the typical middle-class family at home. Still, it was pleasant to be told by a Canadian competitor that 'dream- ing up' his verses had given him 'that deep plea- sure enjoyed by all men whose swift imagination is combined with both human observation and a humble but glorious facility with words.' There were a few authentic notes. May Idler, of Montreal, spoke for `humdrum' housewives everywhere : No workbench tools I muster; No lathes, no gadgets, but, alas, The old dishpan and duster.
Mrs. M. A. Watt, of Pretoria, struck a particu- larly sympathetic chord in a heart-felt song which told of all that went wrong despite the deceptively simple `do it yourself' instructions (simple enough for the clumsiest man') and ended: Now that we've finished it's horribly plain We'll just have to make it all over again.
John C. Caton, of Singapore, came nearest to pro- ducing verses which anybody might conceivably sing while at work : `Here's a job that is waiting to be done, to be done.'
I award prizes of a guinea each to the three competitors named above and three guineas to Mrs. Joan Freyburg, of Tanganyika, for the following, which was certainly the most original entry submitted :
`Do IT YOURSELF' WORK SONG FOR HUSBANDS AND
WIVES
Husband : The children are ill, and you fear the worst?
There isn't a doctor, so try Aspirin first.
Wife: The pedigree bull is needing the vet? Give Epsoms salts—he's too far to get.
Chorus: Do it yourself! Do it yourself!
You mend the tractor, and I'll fix the shelf. Husband : You've got awful toothache? I'll fill it for you, You know there's no dentist out here in the blue. Wife : You're building ,a house, a pigsty, a shed? Just read it up, darling, and then go ahead.
Chorus Husband : There isn't a school, and the twins are so bright? Well, teach 'em yourself, you'll do it all right.
Wife : You've not done much shootin'? It's time to begin. You shoot that rogue rhino, or he'll do you in.
Together : Do it yourself, dear, that's all you can do, I know you're no expert, but there's 'no one but you.
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