15 SEPTEMBER 1990, Page 39

Happy Families

I see I've got Mrs Bun the baker's wife, And Master Bun who was once a bun in her oven, And Mr Chips the carpenter, and one Of his young shavings, and Mr Boot the cobbler, And Master Boot (Jack Boot) the Hitler youth, And strict Miss Boot the disciplinarian.

Well that lot, I suppose, can be made to run; But what shall I do with the wild card left over, What do I do with Mr Desire the lover?

He's only wanting Miss Desire the beloved; But I've asked all round and never a hide nor hair of her, No one admits to being even aware of her, They shake their heads or stall.

Either someone is lying, which wouldn't surprise me, Or else she never was in the pack at all.

So we see it's not after all a simple diversion, Completing a happy family: all's inter-reactive, Where just what you need is denied you for just that reason, And sticking to rule is usually counter-productive, And the cards change faces even as they change places; And even when the game's over no-one has won.

Happy Families is easier said than done. Hilary Corke