Television
The freak factor
Wendy Cope his week's Screen One offering, Frankenstein's Baby by Emma Tennant (BBC1, 9.20 p.m., Sunday), was about a pregnant man. I didn't much like the sound of it and hadn't intended to watch, but I found myself accidentally tuned in on the way to something else — probably the elusive Sunday evening news. At the be- ginning he wasn't pregnant yet. It seemed like a rather engaging film about youngish people who wore nice clothes and lived in lovely homes (the vast Docklands flat was especially appealing). And it featured Wil- liam Armstrong, who plays Max in Capital City (returning some time this season, I am glad to say). So, with one thing and another, I kept watching right up to and beyond the point when we had to look at Nigel Planer's distended belly, which, I hope he will forgive me for saying, was not a pretty sight.
However, his performance was excel- lent. Obliged to give up his job, he lost confidence, stuffed himself with sweets and began to irritate his girlfriend (Kate Buf- fery). It was quite an interesting exercise in role reversal, though you couldn't help feeling that in real life the freak factor would have worried everybody a lot more. Most probably the expectant father would have been hounded by characters from last week's Screen One film about a tabloid newspaper. One thing the pregnant man didn't have to do was go out and buy paternity clothes. He was a fairly traditional dresser, and traditional menswear easily accommodates an enormous stomach. Clothes for the younger man were the subject of an item in Posh Frocks and New Trousers (ITV, 2.20 p.m., Thursday). What should he wear for a first date? 'If you don't make a good impression in the first ten seconds, you may as well forget it,' reporter Krishna Guru Murthy told viewers. There followed a sketch, in which he turned up at a girl's front door wearing a succession of bad ideas — flashy tie, torn jeans, lots of jewellery — and had the door slammed in his face each time. Then he interviewed some women about their preferences. Wisely ignoring Molly Parkin — who told him she liked a man to wear a check suit and a hat — he ended up looking very nice in a dark suit and conservative tie. And 'manly shoes', recommended by a young actress. Furthermore he was advised that women are not keen on dandruff, dirty nails or, indeed, on dirt in general. Many women of my generation had to teach their men to wash, gently introducing the notion that a daily bath isn't really all that extravagant. It's good to see television giving the younger generation some help.
The programme also included a piece of information worth passing on to women readers. Apparently Charnos are market- ing some new tights that are sheer and don't run and cost only £1.79 a pair. It sounds too good to be true. I've always assumed that if someone invented tights that really didn't ladder or go into holes, the hosiery manufacturers would pay him or her a lot of money to keep it quiet. But you never know.
The Clothes Show (BBC 1, 6 p.m., Sunday) announced a knitwear design competition. The theme — 'to mark the momentous events of the past 12 months' — is Freedom. If it was a poetry competi- tion, the hearts of the judges would be sinking. But a few thousand jumpers about Freedom could be rather fun. Viewers were advised that pictures of the Berlin Wall are not really what's wanted. I can't wait to see what people come up with.
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