High life
Below the belt
Taki
S. amuel Johnson once said that it was Impossible to criticise unresisting imbecili- ty, but the good Doctor had never met a modern Greek. Four years . after he was voted out of office, Ali Babandreou is back, as strong as ever, and those genitally chal- lenged countrymen of mine put him back in the saddle.
This is political onanism of the highest level, proof beyond any doubt that half of the Hellenes are a disgrace to humanity and an insult to human intelligence. Basi- cally, what they're suffering from is penile dementia, a condition that afflicts those whose brains are located between their
legs, and 50 per cent of neo-Hellenic brains are to be found below the waist.
-Personally, the return of the man who was accused (and eventually acquitted) of looting Greece does not bother me. I am starting my weekly just in time. In fact Mrs All Baba's picture sans bathing suit will be on my first cover.
Yes, I do believe we'll have fun for the next four or eight years, but the country will certainly not. Ali Baba is an extremely shrewd politician. He knew that the econo- my was about to collapse back in '88. He allowed the conservatives to tighten the belt and now he will ruin it all over again. Outgoing premier Mitsotakis had no choice upon taking over a wrecked economy than to apply the harsh austerity measures that he did.
What angers me about the Greeks is their stupidity. Don't they realise what. the hell is going on? Price increases and reduced social benefits were a result of All Baba's spending and irresponsible policies. Although Mitsotakis tried very hard and made great strides, the Greeks did not understand what he was doing. How could they? They spend most of their time either playing with themselves or watching Greek soap operas on television.
Otherwise it has been a great week. I flew to Germany and Switzerland on busi- ness, came to London on a lightning visit to see the mother of my children, and am off to the birthplace of demagoguery for the launch of the greatest weekly since the Speccie.
I'm also off on my boat, something I've totally neglected to do this summer. As Yogi Berra, the greatest of malapropists, once said, 'Nobody goes there any more, it's too crowded'.
Yogi is a very smart man. By that he meant hoi polloi had discovered the place, and who the hell wants to rub elbows with the plebs? Greece in summer is as bad as the Riviera, which brings me to a certain Victoria Mather writing in the Telegraph magazine. Writing about Ithaca, she takes a gratuitous swipe at the Germans while praising the butchers of Elas, the commu- nist resistance group. Some resistance. Killing the odd German soldier, and the reprisals that followed, may have helped the Red cause, but did not tie down any German divisions. Mather knows as much about modern Greek history as I do about African-American culture, and she shows her ignorance by attacking a people that gave us Beethoven and Goethe, not to mention Guderian and von Manteuffel.
And speaking of races, the Anglo-Saxons are certainly improving. In the past, Tory ministers were caught with young boys in public lavatories. Now they are revealed as having five mistresses, surely a healthy sign. I think the only way the Tory party can be saved is if it becomes a party for screwers, including Mellor, Parkinson, Norris, Clark, the lot. Look what screwing did for All Babandreou.
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