What Should I Tell My Daughter?
SIR,—Mr J. R. de S. Honey asks (Letters, June 10) if I cannot recognise that 'for some people sex can be appreciated at two (at least) levels, neither exclu- sive of the other.' One of these levels he defines as that of appetite. I presume he means a relatively impersonal, almost entirely physical experience. But I do not believe that different aspects of sex can be so easily and neatly divided from each other. At the climax of even a casual sexual experience the whole being is concentrated into what I should take to be a deep longing to give oneself to one's partner. If the experience is impersonal this longing is frustrated; physically there may be no holding back, but there is psychologically. Therefore, I would reaffirm that mating ought to be committed, responsible and on a continuing basis.
So far from having grown out of the idea of Christian marriage (which never really had much to do with tribal taboos), I believe we have not yet grown into it. The present age of freedom and intelligent awareness, too often and too glibly denounced by church spokesmen as a time of moral disintegration, probably offers the best climate yet for more people than ever before to appreciate that the three equally important and interdependent principles upon which the Christian idea of lifelong union is based (procreation and care of children, mutual enjoyment of natural instincts and affections, and enduring companionship) provide the essential conditions for a satisfactory and indeed a truly civilised relationship between the sexes.
c. o. WILSON St John's Vicarage, 14 Dane Bank Avenue, Crewe
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