Q. At a party recently we reconnected with a couple
we had not seen for a few years. We agreed to have dinner soon, and duly invited them. They then had us back, and we were happy to have re-established the relationship. When we next invited them for dinner, they accepted enthusiastically, saying that they would love to come provided that they did not take a spontaneous holiday. So I sent them a postcard reminder and went on holiday for three weeks. When I returned, having heard nothing to the contrary, I expected them to show up, which they did not. One of our guests said that she had seen Mrs X not three days before and they had said to each other, 'See you Friday night.' Fellow guests said that they might have thought the invitation was for a big 'stand-up' affair and that they wouldn't be missed. One guest who spoke to Mrs X the next day told her that the party had been a sit-down for 12. I certainly expected some explanation, apology or excuse. But there has been nothing, and that was a month ago. Now what? I really do not want a feud, or to embarrass them. How can I salvage the situation and remain friends? Is the ball in their court or in ours? Since the couple involved are 'newsworthy' and have a public profile, I wish to withhold my name from publication.
Name and address withheld A. The other couple has behaved badly, but bear in mind that the torrent of information and invitations that now bombards 'public-profile' couples has left them with no option but to deal with emergencies only while everything else goes on the backboiler. You must forgive the couple — no doubt their negligence has caused them greater pain than it has caused you. Write them a (sincere) sympathy note — on a postcard, please, or they won't have time to read it — enclosing the number of a headhunting agency that could supply them with a top PA to handle their non-emergency workload.
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